Feral Blood
by Blood of Your Lips
Summary: You are something so rare and divine that it would be a sin to just drain you thoughtlessly. No, Isabella. I would only occasionally soothe my palette with your delicious flavor, for you, bella mia, are the most tempting delight. You are meant to be sampled, mia cocca... I wish to savor your blood for years to come. *Un-Beta'ed*
1. Chapter 1

**IMPORTANT INFORMATION: **Hello, all. For those who may not be aware, this story was originally created in October of 2010 and was taken down in the middle of 2011. It is now 2014, and a lot has happened these last few years, but after quite a bit of deliberation, I've decided to return Feral Blood back to FFnet. Now, some of you may remember that, for a time, I was working on making Feral Blood into an original book series. Well, there were many internal issues with the story itself and with its production, so between that and the current situation with cancer in the family, the future of my publishing is at a halt.

I would also like to point out that I will also not be updating with the any regular frequency, due to the fact that my mother has cancer and that I myself am having several oral surgeries. I know I had mentioned my mother's condition in notes of my other fanfics, but I wanted to mention it here for those who may not have known. For updates on both my mother's condition and my own, I will be posting information in my profile every couple of weeks at least.

**DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing from the Twilight world. All characters and original plots are the creation of one Stephanie Meyer. This is story is purely for entertainment, and no copyright infringement is intended. While all of said characters and original plots do belong to Miss Meyer, the idea for this story is my own and any resemblance to any other work is purely coincidental.

**WARNINGS: Graphic Adult Content and Language, AU.**

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**ONE**

_Well, this can't be good._

Those were the only words that formed in my head when I heard a dark snarl rip from Jasper's throat. As he lunged toward me, I could not help but think that this whole incident was a big shame. For one, I did not even want a party. Parties stopped being fun when I was twelve, and to top it off, it felt very awkward for me to just stand amidst mythical, immortal creatures and be the only one to eat cake. And I still did not understand what had possessed Alice to get a cake, particularly such a large and detailed one. It wasn't like her family could eat. Well, anything but me.

Normally, that thought would have made me smirk in amusement, but unfortunately for me, two black eyes were eyeing me with raging hunger. And that was also a shame, because poor Jasper had such a difficult time being around human blood, and from what I gathered from Edward, I seemed to be especially tempting, which under normal circumstances would have been quite flattering. These, however, were not normal circumstances, and due to my own thoughtless klutziness, I was putting these vampires in a very painful situation.

I was jerked, or rather slammed, from my odd reverie when Edward's arm shot out to push me out of harm's way. Alas, he seemed to have forgotten his strength in the heat of the moment, and before I could register what was happening to me, my small form was flying through the air and I came to an abrupt, and rather pain-filled, halt against the large glass picture frame that hung above a small table that just happened to be covered with glass candle holders.

If smashing into a glass frame was painful, it could not compare to the feeling of your entire weight landing in a pile of broken shards. Had I only hit the frame, it would reason that I would have had several cuts, but I doubted that I would have had so much glass embedded in my inflamed flesh as I did now. Of course, that was not the worst of it. Instead of just one vampire snarling at me, I had a whole house full of them staring at me as if were some forbidden delicacy to be tasted then devoured—talk about awkward! And in the back of my twisted mind, I could not help but feel terrible about bleeding all over Esme's beautiful carpet.

Thankfully, Carlisle was by my side in an instant, inspecting the wounds on my arm, which effectively stopped my mental wandering. After a particularly loud roar echoed through the room, his head snapped around and, to my surprise, his eyes narrowed and he gave a low growl, the rumbled warning emanating from deep inside his chest.

I could only blink at him in surprise, and I was distantly aware of Emmett dragging his brother outside, and the footsteps of their mother and mates following them. Edward, of course, seemed determined to hang around until I was aware of him again, and it was when I let my gaze catch his, that he gave me a look pained look that somehow seemed to convey the vaguest hint of 'I told you so'.

I could not recall what it was, if anything, that Carlisle had said to get Edward to leave the house, but I was now alone in the office, perched atop his desk, and well aware of him towering over me. I shivered at his closeness and prayed, foolishly, that he did not notice.

"Are you quite all right, Bella?" he questioned softly, his topaz eyes filled with concern and something else that I could not identify.

I nodded and kept my gaze schooled on the buttons of his light blue shirt. It had not escaped me that he looked much younger now that he had removed his suit jacket and scarf, that youthfulness only adding to his inhuman beauty. As I studied the small buttons, my mind wandered to the first time I had ever laid eyes on the Cullens' father-figure. He had been dressed then much the same way as he was now—dark trousers and light blue shirt, although the shirt he wore at the present was a bit lighter than the other. Blue was a good color on him, I decided. It just seemed to make him glow somehow.

My gaze widen from the white buttons to take in the expanse of his body. His shoulders were broad and I had a healthy appreciation of the way the light material stretched over his deltoids. An equally broad chest led to a narrow waist, and I could feel my heart rate increase as I fantasized about what might be underneath that nicely fitted shirt. I felt a little bit guilty for letting my mind wandering to forbidden fruits, but if I were to be honest, he was, after all, a damn fine looking man. Er, vampire.

"Bella?"

I blinked. "Um…Sorry. I was just thinking."

He chuckled slightly. "Obviously."

"It's just…I really didn't want to have a party." When he just raised an eyebrow, as if urging me to continue, I did so with a heavy sigh. "Parties aren't really my thing in general, and I haven't really had a birthday party since I was twelve. It's a little…I'm just too old for birthday parties."

He laughed as he continued to carefully pluck pieces of glass from my arm. "Bella, you're only eighteen."

"Exactly," I argued. "Birthday parties are a little awkward when you hit your teen years, and just seem odd when you become an adult. I can kind of understand people having a birthday dinner at Olive Garden or drinks at a club or something with a few friends, but the whole cake-and-presents thing is just a little too much to me."

"Well, you know easily excitable Alice gets," the blond returned calmly. "Once she has an idea in her head, it is very difficult to dissuade her from it."

I snorted. "No kidding. I…" I sighed and when I saw the vampire watching me intently, I felt myself blush. "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I should have paid more attention."

"Oh, Bella. It is not your fault. Jasper had a very difficult time after being changed and he is not as accustomed to this lifestyle as the rest of us. It can be quite a struggle for him sometimes."

"But this wouldn't have happened if—"

"Isabella, what happened was an accident."

I was silent for awhile, before gazing up at his handsome pale face. "How do you do it?"

His eyes glanced to me momentarily as he retrieved a needle and thread. "Centuries of practice. But, as with everything else in life, I just had to make the best of what I was given."

I found my gaze drifting back over his fit body. "Must have been hard." I winced at the unintentional innuendo. "Did you ever think of doing it the easy way?"

Carlisle sighed and paused in his stitching, his eyes seeming to focus on a spot just above my head. "No," he breathed out. "I knew who I wanted to be. I have always only wished to help people. Though, if I am to be honest, it is not always easy."

I noticed that he said is, not was, and that surprised me. From what I had learned from Edward, Carlisle was supposed to be practically immune to human blood and, given how he had taken care of me during the James fiasco, I could not imagine the vampire leader having to struggle. I was very curious and could not stop myself from asking, "What do you mean? I thought…Well, I was led to believe that you aren't, um, exactly susceptible to the scent of human blood."

His entire body froze momentarily, before his eyes swept over my face.

I could see that he was debating something, like he was weighing the options of what he wanted to say and was trying to gauge how I might react. When he sighed heavily and bowed his head, his hands carefully moving over my skin as he continued to stitch the wounds, I knew that whatever decision Carlisle had made was one that he believed would upset me.

"Isabella, for nearly two hundred years, I have been almost entirely desensitized to the scent of human blood, and since being changed, I have never once given into its seductive pull. However," he drawled softly, his faint English accent making me shiver, "there was an occasion when I was immensely shocked to find myself absolutely overcome with the desire for a human's blood. She was in some ways, I suppose, my singer—a human whose blood calls so strongly to a vampire that it is almost painful for the vampire to resist. However, what I felt was far more than that. I realized that she was not really my singer, but my mate.

"You see, it should be said that you are Edward's singer," he continued. "When Edward first encountered your scent, he wanted nothing more that to…"

"Bleed me dry?" I supplied with a wry grin, earning a chuckle from the vampire.

"Yes…" His eyes darted up to mine, and I felt that I could get lost in that golden gaze. "But while Edward's reaction is to—well…That is not the reaction that I have toward my mate."

I felt a bit confused and I voiced said confusion almost immediately. "But, Carlisle, I thought Esme was your mate."

His laugh was soft and a little sad. "No. It would seem that way to you, but Esme is not my mate, nor is she my wife. It is part of the façade to make us seem more human."

"Then who…" My question faded into nothingness as his topaz gaze held my chocolate one firmly, and after a moment, my lips parted in a silent O. I dropped my head and stared at the floor for a minute or two, before snorting on a giggle. "Wow! Edward wanted to eat me. James started to eat me. Jasper, obviously, attempted to eat me. And now…Is there any vampire that I could possibly encounter that wouldn't want to suck me dry?"

To my surprise, Carlisle chuckled before pressing a kiss to the top of my head, a gesture that had my heart beating almost double-time. "I can assure you, _cara mia_, that I could never 'suck you dry', even if I wanted to. You are my mate and it is quite impossible for me to ever harm you in such a manner."

I licked my lips as a hundred questions danced in my head, and before I could stop myself, a couple of them spewed forth. "If I'm your mate, why didn't you say anything in the first place? And why is it that everyone else wants to drink my blood, but you don't?"

"But I do, Isabella." He smiled at me gently as he finished up my stitches. "However, that explanation is longer, so I'll start with the first question.

"The first time I ever encountered you was in the emergency room," he said with a smirk as I blushed. "One of your classmates was on the gurney beside you and your father was standing right next to you, and there were half a dozen nurses and doctors wandering through triage. It would have been highly inappropriate for me to confess to you there what I was and what you are to me. It was also acutely apparent that you were developing feelings for my son, and while it broke my heart to step aside, as your mate, I live only to see you happy."

He placed all of the bloody gauze in a bowl with the shards of glass, pouring just a drop or two of bleach into the mix, before lighting it, all traces of my blood burning away. "Had I believed even for an instant, Isabella, that what I felt coming from you could have been more than a passing fancy, I would have come forward far sooner in regards to my affections for you."

I leaned backwards, pleased when he stepped between my parted thighs. "Didn't Alice see this coming, though?"

He smiled as he ran his cool hands up and down my arms, before pulling me closer to him. "I might recall her having dropped a hint or two that, perhaps, Edward was not destined to have you, but in a rare choice for me, I bet against Alice. I felt that Edward was the one you loved and that Edward would be the one you would always choose."

The way he glanced above my head while running a hand through his glorious blond hair let me know that this was still a fear of his.

Deciding to distract him, I calmly questioned, "And what about my blood? You said that you don't want to, and can't, drink me dry, but that you do want my blood. Is it just my blood? I mean, from what I've seen, you don't seem to have a problem with anyone else's blood."

He scooped me up into his arms, and in the blink of an eye, we were behind the desk, seated in the large leather chair as he snuggled me in his arms. "It might take awhile to explain." It was several long minutes, before he spoke again. "It seems to be your blood and only your blood that I am drawn to," he commented as he lifted a hand to play with my hair. "I'm fairly certain that this stems from the fact that you are mate, which seems rather oxymoronic, considering that the one thing that drives me to want to drink from you is the same thing that leaves me completely incapable of drinking from you entirely."

I blinked then chuckled. "I'll think about that one later. What else?"

"Well, as I said, you are most definitely Edward's singer. However," Carlisle sighed, "you are also his first love. I fear sometimes that I have done Edward a huge disservice by changing him. He was only seventeen when he became a vampire, and had not experienced his first crush or his first love, and being a vampire, he was too hesitant to get close to any human to allow himself that experience. Between the mixed emotions of you being his first love and his singer, he believes that you must be his mate."

He was staring into thin air and I recognized the expression on his face almost instantly. He was debating whether or not he should tell me what he wanted to tell me next and, like the last time, he sighed and settled on the blatant truth. "When a vampire finds their singer, the human rarely survives. I must say that I am surprised he was able to resist your blood, given the fact that Edward has tasted human blood before. I suppose that I should be thankful for his feelings toward you, as they were probably the only thing that kept you alive."

I felt him shift me in his lap, and nuzzled my face against his neck, smiling when his lips buried a kiss in my chocolate curls.

"A singer is like a drug to an addict—"

I could not stop the snort of laughter that bubbled up inside. "That's what he said. That I was like his own personal heroin."

He hummed into my hair before resting his chin on the top of my head. "That comparison is not far from the truth when it comes to singers. I would surmise that for most vampires human blood would be quite like a drug such as Lortab to a patient waking from a minor surgery. However, for whatever reason, the human becomes addicted and needs something stronger.

"A singer, for a vampire, is that stronger substance, and unfortunately, coming across a singer can be quite disastrous to anyone following this way of life. The singer is almost irresistible, and a vampire almost always drains them the instant they come across them. Like a human addicted to any such substances, vampires then spend centuries trying to find something that equal the taste of their singer. They obviously fail and then tend to develop destructive tendencies. Singers are, in essence, the perfect drug to vampires."

"Unfortunately for us, we just come in limited supply." I could feel his chest vibrating beneath me with laughter. "Well, thank God for crushes then."

"Indeed."

I wrinkled my nose as I thought back to something he said earlier. "You said that I was somewhat like your singer, but I'm not actually your singer."

"No, bella mia," he cooed the endearment in my ear. "You are not truly my singer. I do not wish to drain your life from you." He pulled my hair back from my neck and let his fingers trail over the pulsing vein he found there. "You do look quite lovely in green, Isabella. It brings out the tiny flecks of jade in your eyes."

I chortled softly. "Why am I surprised that you can see colors in my eyes that I can't? And why are you trying to distract me?"

I did not have to look at him to know that he was smirking.

"What you want to know, dear Isabella, is rather a lot to take in and I fear that it will inevitably alter your perception of me," he sighed, "and not for the better." He nuzzled my ear as he murmured, "I could not bear it if you thought less of me."

I pulled away, taking his face in my hands, and stared directly into his citrine eyes. "Carlisle Cullen, there is nothing in this world that could possibly change my thoughts about you. You are the kindest, most gentle, loving man that I have ever met. There is nothing that will make me think less of you." I felt a strong blush color my cheeks. "Do you think less of me for so easily accepting that I am your mate and—"

"No, _cara,"_ he said firmly, planting a chaste kiss on my cheek. "The pull between mates is very strong, though if it is between a vampire and human, the draw from the human to the vampire can be rather confusing. Until now, we have rarely been alone. It would only stand to reason that you would believe that you were meant to be with Edward and felt only the typical desire that most humans feel toward vampires. I could never even fathom thinking ill of you for allowing your feelings to surface."

"Then please do not think that I could think anything bad about anything you feel toward me," I retorted with a smile.

He groaned. "Bella…_Bella mia._ My feelings for you as my mate are vastly different from the desire I have for your blood."

"Please," I begged. "I promise that I won't get upset. Just…tell me. Please?"

I felt him nod above me and heard his heavy sigh, before he started to speak again. "While you are like a drug to my son, to be devoured completely, to me you are like a rare wine." His fingers caressed my throat slowly. "You are something so rare and divine that it would be a sin to just drain you thoughtlessly. No, Isabella. I would only occasionally soothe my palette with your delicious flavor, for you, _mia ,_ are the most tempting delight. You—" he trailed his tongue over my fluttering vein— "you are meant to be sampled, _mia cocca._ That is what your blood is to me," he cooed. "I could never just drink of you so carelessly, until the last drop was pulled from you. No, no, no…I wish to savor your blood for years to come."

His tongue had just begun to trail gently over my neck, when the door to his study was slammed open, to a reveal a panicked looking Alice.

"Carlisle, we have a problem," she said softly. "I'm sorry. Really, I am. But…I had a vision. We were all out in the forest hunting, and I had a vision. Edward saw it in my head. He saw you talking to Bella, telling her all of this. He's so angry. Emmett and Jasper have him under control for now, but I don't know how long they can keep him under control." She glanced to me then back to the Cullen patriarch. "He is absolutely furious. I've never seen him so angry."

I stiffened as panic rise in my throat and I shivered as I glanced at the pixie-like vampire. "What…What will happen if—"

She shrugged. "I don't know yet. He's too angry to make a decision."

I bowed my head, suddenly feeling ashamed of myself in front of the dark headed girl that I thought of as my sister. I had let myself have feelings for Edward and, whether I would have admitted it before or not, Carlisle as well.

But now, as Edward believed himself to be my mate, I was accepting another into my life. I felt so conflicted. I felt guilty and like I was betraying Edward, but the truth was that our relationship always had an uncomfortable tension just beneath the surface. He always tried to give me only half of the truth, to keep me somewhat in the dark about who and what he was. He always wanted to control me and, sadly, I had let him. If I were to be honest with myself, it was not a healthy relationship.

What I felt for Carlisle felt natural. It seemed so easy and comfortable to be with him. He was so calm and compassionate, so kind and caring, and the way he held me felt so perfect and so right, there was no stiffness or awkwardness to his embrace. He talked with me, not to me, and while he might hesitate about telling me something that he felt might disturb me, in the end, he was always completely honest. He let me make my choices and decisions on my own. He treated me like an equal, not a child that needed to be kept in the dark and shielded from the world.

"Bella?" I glanced up to see Alice perched on the edge of Carlisle's desk, her eyes staring down at me with sympathy. "I might not be able to read minds, but I know what you're thinking and you should stop it right now!" She crossed her jean-clad legs underneath her, the white silk of her top pooling in her lap. "When Eddie saw that you would be joining our family, he took it into his warped brain that, because you are his singer, it meant you were meant for him. I tried to tell him he was wrong, but he wouldn't listen." She leaned forward, as if she could not stay still, and propped her elbows on her knees. "You should not feel guilty about wanting to pursue a relationship with your mate. Edward will get over it in time, I promise. Right now, he's just angry and hurt. But you're not his mate, so he'll live."

"So, you're-you're not mad?" I stammered in surprise.

"Oh, Bella!" she exclaimed, rolling her golden eyes at me. "I saw this coming the moment I saw you through the cafeteria window. When I told everyone that you would end up joining our family, Edward let everyone know that he had found his mate, and I immediately attempted to correct him. Everyone in the family has seen this coming. It's one of the reasons that Rosalie was so upset. She wasn't upset with you; she was pissed off that Edward was being a jerkwad. Her wording, too. She was furious that he was using his nature to dazzle you. It wasn't fair to you. It was almost like he was forcing you to fall in love with him, and she could not stand that."

"So, Rosalie doesn't hate me?"

"Of course not!"

I glanced up to see both Rosalie and Esme in the doorway and squirmed uncomfortably. I knew that Carlisle had said that Esme was not his mate or his wife, but I could not help but wonder how she felt about me being his mate.

"Edward has just been acting like a spoiled child this whole time," Rosalie growled. "I never had any issues with you personally, Bella. No, I would never have chosen this life for myself, but you're an intelligent young woman. I think you know the risks and benefits." Her eyes darted to Carlisle and they narrowed. "I had to leave before I killed him. He was really starting to piss me off. I really wanted to put my foot up his—"

"Rosalie!" Esme exclaimed before turning to me with a bright smile. "I am so very happy for you, sweetheart!" She flitted over to me to kiss my cheek. "I was beginning to fear that Carlisle was never going to tell you. And I heard what Alice said; she's right, you know. You shouldn't feel guilty about anything, Bella-dear."

I watched with wide eyes as she flitted to one of the chairs in front of Carlisle's desk.

"Um…" I was too surprised to say anything, and I felt my face heating up as the four vampires laughed at my reaction. I glanced down then back at Rosalie, who still stood in the doorway as if she were guarding the room. "So…Um…What's going to happen? I mean, with us."

My eyes darted to the leader of the Cullens.

"Whatever you wish, cara mia." He stroked my cheek gently, before pressing a loving kiss to my temple. "Whatever you wish."

.

As I sat in my mate's lap, I tried desperately not to think about how Edward was somewhere in the woods, being held back by his two brothers. I sat quietly, simply absorbing everything that Carlisle had told me about our relationship and the rather seductive draw that my blood seem to hold for him, as he stroked my hair and calmed my nerves, whispering endearments in both English and Italian.

"May I ask you a question?" I queried suddenly. "It's rather personal and I don't want to offend you. I'm just…curious."

He nuzzled my ear, and I felt myself blushing, well aware that there were still three other females in the study with us. "You may ask me anything you wish, my pet."

"If my blood is so absolutely tantalizing to you, why have you not tried to drink my blood before? Let's face it: as much as I get injured, you've certainly had several chances." I doubted I would ever admit it to him, but I was rather annoyed, and slightly offended, that out of all the vampires who wanted to taste, or already had experienced, my blood, the one and only person who had the right, the only one I wished to taste me, was the one who seemed determined not to. When I felt him stiffen, I immediately regretted asking and apologized. "I'm sorry. I told you it was personal."

He shook his head then pressed his cool lips to my temple. "It is perfectly all right, _bella mia_. I am not at all upset with you. It is a fair question, and if I am to be honest, denying myself the taste of your blood has been almost as painful as denying my feelings. But you should know that I could never bring myself to drink from you. It would be inappropriate to do so, and it would be quite unfair to my family, who has struggled to resist human blood. From the moment I awoke to my condition, I swore to myself that I would not let the blood of humans pass my lips. I strove for centuries to perfect my control. How do you think my family would feel if I were to have given in to the temptation of your blood, if I were to allow myself to partake of the luscious life that flows through your veins?"

I heard a snort and glanced up in time to see Rosalie roll her eyes. "Don'tcha just love how he presumes to know what we think?"

"Rosalie," Esme warned softly.

I nibbled my lower lip for a moment then spoke up in defense of the blonde female. "Well, she may have a point." When the older woman glanced at me with a raised eyebrow, I sucked on my lip for a moment, before casting another apologetic glance to my surprised mate. "Well, think about it…Why is it that Edward was forgiven for the time he rebelled? Why is it okay for Jasper to slip? You seem to hold a higher standard for yourself than you do for everyone else."

"Bella, I'm supposed to be the leader of this family. I—"

"So that makes you better than everyone else?" I challenged, watching his eyes flash with hurt and his lips part with shock.

I saw Rose move from the doorway, her arms crossed in front of her as she spoke. "No," she said softly. "He doesn't think he's better than us. He just hates himself that much. He can always believe there is forgiveness and redemption for others, but not for himself. He can see the goodness in his family, but not in himself…I asked Jasper to confirm it one time. He doesn't think any less of us for being what we are, but he absolutely loathes himself.

"The reason he strives so hard to be appear human is because he cannot bear to be seen as what he feels is a monster." Rosalie sighed heavily. "Don't get me wrong. I never would have chosen this life, but I honestly do not bear Carlisle, or any of my family, ill will. It's hard sometimes, because I wanted to be a mother, a grandmother…But as much as I miss that, even I do not deny what I am. Yes, I strive to resist human blood, but I still give into the majority of my urges." When I looked up at her in questioning, I saw that she was back in the doorway as she explained. "You looked incredibly surprised earlier when Carlisle growled at us to leave. If you want to know the truth, so was I. Including the incident with James last year, that is only the second time I have heard him growl in almost fifty years. Did you know that whenever Emmett holds me and nuzzles me, the way Carlisle was doing to you earlier, we purr?"

My head snapped toward my mate. "You purr?"

"I doubt he's purred once since he's been changed. I know in the near-century that I've been alive, I've never heard it."

He ignored his daughter, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "I…have the ability, yes."

I gazed at him thoughtfully, my lips pursed before I barged on. "You know, this isn't only unfair to me, it's unfair to your family for you to constantly deny what you are. You want to talk about what your family thinks? Whether you meant to or not, you've set your own personal standards so high, that they probably feel that they will never been able to live up to the perfection of Carlisle Cullen."

Oh, I was getting really annoyed now. I was surprised that Alice and Esme had not stepped into the argument, but I supposed Alice would see that things might get very ugly if they did, particularly since I nor Rosalie was holding anything back. Normally, I would not go after the male so strongly, but I was angry to learn that in his need to deny what he was to himself, he was denying me the same, denying me the experience of knowing him so thoroughly and intimately. It was insulting.

"You hate yourself so much that you would deny your instincts even to your mate? If hate yourself so much, do you have any plans on claiming me as your mate? Were you really going to let me remain with Edward? Was that the only part of your instincts you were going to abide by?"

"Bella…" he sighed heavily.

"Oh, he's suppressing a growl!" Rosalie supplied helpfully.

"Rosalie," Carlisle warned.

"He really wants to growl now."

I glanced back to the blond female to see a dangerous smirk on her face.

"Rose," Alice hissed softly, moving away from the desk.

"You can tell his pissed off, because his eyes are solid black."

When I looked back, Carlisle's eyes were closed and it looked like he was having trouble controlling his breathing, even though vampires didn't actually need to breathe. "Carlisle…Open your eyes."

"He's not going to do it," Rosalie taunted. "He doesn't love you that much."

Suddenly, I was on my feet and staring at Carlisle's back while the many items of his desk flying across the room as he up-ended said desk.

Esme and Alice were across the room and against the wall as the male snarled in rage.

"That's better," his daughter said brightly, obviously pleased that she had gotten a reaction from him.

"Rosalie!" he roared, his whole body trembling violently, though whether it was from anger, shame or a combination of both, I wasn't entirely sure. I could only guess the latter, as I was only privy to the tensing muscles of his back.

Without any hesitation, I touched his shoulder and nodded toward the door. "Would you please leave us alone for a moment?" I watched Rose trounce away, smirking, and a disturbed looking Alice and Esme follow, closing the door silently behind them. "Carlisle, look at me."

"No," he whispered harshly as he turned to me, his eyes still tightly closed. "Why…Why did you have to insist upon pushing this subject so far?"

"Because if I'm to be your mate," I returned gently, "I want to know you, the real you. I deserve to know exactly who and what you are. I deserve to know every part of you." I gave him a sympathetic smile when his eyes snapped open to study me. "Carlisle, you need to give me more credit and trust than you do."

"Bella—"

"Carlisle, listen to me." I placed a hand on his chest and wrapped one around his waist, stepping closer to him. "You are not a monster. You are not damned. You have one of the purest souls that I have ever encountered." When his lips parted to argue, I placed a finger over them. "It's true. The soul is meant to take the love they feel from a higher power, and to give and share that love with the other souls it encounters. It's meant to do good, to be its best. And you've done that and more. Carlisle, to deny what you are, to deny every single instinct within you…It's not right."

I rested my head on his shoulder, surprised and grateful when his arms slipped around me. "I understand that you don't want to take the lives of humans. It's admirable. It's…amazing. But there's a difference between pushing away the instinct to kill and denying your entire being. You have more restraint and more humanity than most of humanity. Humans torture, rape, kill…Our species is capable of the most unthinkable horrors." I glanced up at him. "Being a vampire doesn't make you a monster. A monster is born of behavior. And I can assure you, Carlisle Cullen, that you are more like an angel than a monster."

I noticed that his eyes were slowly returning to their normal color, and I smiled. "While you are going to hate hearing this, I should point out that growling when you're angry or you're protecting me, purring in happiness— that doesn't make you a monster either." I kissed his pale jaw and smirked wickedly at him. "It makes you damn sexy!"

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Is that so?"

I grinned lightly. "Very much so."

He buried his face in my hair, inhaling my scent deeply. "Perhaps you are right, and I am not damned. No creature damned by God could be blessed with a gift as wise, charitable and loving as yourself, _cara mia."_

"Are you going to stop with the self-loathing?"

"I will endeavor to relinquish my rather unfounded hold upon myself hatred." He stroked my ear with a cool finger and I shivered. "But if I am to be quite honest, Isabella, I doubt that I will ever give in into my desires to drink from you. I'm afraid that I would feel rather guilty for indulging myself of your delightful taste after having spent so many decades trying to keep my family from human blood."

I sighed. "Wow, Carlisle…Getting things through your head is like getting a camel through the eye of a needle."

He smirked at me. "Nicely phrased, Isabella."

"Thank you. I do try, but that wasn't all, I'm afraid," I chuckled. "You have to remember, Carlisle, that your children have their own minds. They chose to follow your particular diet. The only standards they should be living up to are their own. They need to live their lives in a way that is good for them, just like you have to live in a way that's right for you." I stroked his arms, smiling at the feel of his hard muscles beneath his pale blue shirt. "If I offer you my blood, it is consensual. You are taking nothing. And being your mate, it is impossible for you to take my life. There is no wrong doing under those conditions."

"Bella…" he drawled in warning.

"I'm not asking you to drink my blood now," I spoke in dulcet tones. "But you should know that if ever the desire seems overwhelming, I would not be opposed to you tasting my blood. You have my permission, unless I state otherwise. And if you are worried about the unfairness of you being allowed to taste my blood, while your family continues to stay away from feeding from humans, then I should remind you that I am your mate. I am your mate and I consent to allowing you that pleasure." I reached up suddenly and threaded my hands through his blond hair, smiling as the silky locks slipped through my fingers. "And you might be surprised, Carlisle. Your family might not be as upset or unhappy as you probably would like to imagine them being. I'm certain they'd want you to be happy."

He closed his eyes tightly and I knew that he desperately wanted to argue with me about that statement, and I cut him off before he could. "May I ask you a question?"

His eyes popped open and he grinned mischievously. "Last time you asked a question, it resulted in my flipping my desk upside down."

I couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled passed my lips and I snuggled into his embrace, wanting to be as close to him as possible. When I felt him kiss the top of my head then lower his face to my neck, I sighed happily. "I want to hear you purr."

Without even a moment's hesitation, he kissed his way up the side of my neck and began nuzzling my ear, the sound rumbling low in his chest. It was truly the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, and I whispered my thoughts to him, the volume growing louder, reminding me of a contented jungle cat. The thrill of joy that shot though me was beyond anything I had ever felt before, and it was all because of this lovely man, this incredible and exquisite creature that loved me. I was happy, because my beautiful mate was purring for me.

.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**TWO**

Rosalie and Esme had left the office about an hour ago, leaving my mate and me to talk alone with Alice. She continued to assure me that everything would work out fine. After only ten minutes or so, I had asked Carlisle for some time alone with him and, to my surprise, he had led me upstairs to his room. Now, his eyes were glittering black as he braced himself over me on the bed with one arm. With his free hand, he pushed my hair away from my face then stroked my cheek gently. "Bella," he breathed, my name sounding like a prayer upon his lips. It sounded so familiar, so comfortable. "_Bella mia…Mia vita…"_ He dropped his head to my shoulder, kissing and licking his way to my neck, where his tongue dragged over my racing pulse. "_Piacevole_."

My lips tugged into a smile, and I let my hands run languidly over his broad shoulders. When he started whispering sentences in Italian, I giggled, realizing that I had never heard him speak the language at all until tonight. If I were to be honest, I felt rather special and slightly amused. As his head came up, his dark eyes searching mine curiously, I chortled. "You stopped speaking English altogether."

I knew in an instant that he was blushing because of the way his eyelids fluttered closed for a moment and he bit the inside of his lip. There was no blood in his cheeks, but he was most definitely blushing. "Does it bother you?" he questioned softly.

I shook my head. "No, not at all. I like it. A lot," I said with a grin, "even if I can't understand half of it. _Cara_ and _bella_ I get. It would be rather sad if I didn't recognize the humor of my name."

_"Bella cigna,"_ he said with a smirk._ "Mia diletta."_ His eyes gleamed down at me with wistful adoration and when I repeated the unrecognizable term, he smiled. "Delight."

"_Piacevole?"_

He purred low in his chest as he moved his face to nuzzle my neck, his lips parting and latching onto my flesh, sucking gently before giving a flick to the sensitive skin with this tongue. "Delicious. Figuratively. Though you are also quite _deliziosa_."

"So I've been told," I moaned as his talented mouth explored every inch of my throat and shoulders. When his cool hand caressed one breast through the fabric of my dress, I gasped and arched into the touch. It was so natural, like his hand had roamed this path before and I had given into it just as I was now. I blushed as my arousal grew more apparent. With the wet heat pooling between my thighs, I knew that he could smell my desire, and I shivered as I watched him stop to inhale deeply, the soft purr changing to a sensual growl.

While his purr was a sound of absolute beauty, that growl was pure erotic delight. Before I could even tell my brain to tell my mouth to keep itself shut, I voiced my blissful thoughts through a harsh moan. Despite the pleasure coursing through me, I immediately cringed. I knew that Carlisle had only just seemed to start accepting the more instinctive parts of his nature, and I did not want to damage that progress. To my relief and utter glee, he only growled louder.

His hand found its way underneath my back and somehow, without me having ever felt anything, he had the zipper of my dress undone and was gently pulling the garment off my shoulders.

I chortled, my chocolate eyes catching his bemused gaze, and smirked mischievously. "My, my, you work fast, don't you, Doctor Cullen?"

He went completely silent for a moment as his obsidian eyes widened briefly before narrowing into contented slits. He claimed my lips in a tender kiss, his tongue tracing the inside of my lip before battling me for control. He murmured Italian endearments into my ear as I raised my hands to undo the pale blue shirt, and as soon as I had the material free from his body, my hands roamed over his marble muscles.

To say that I flipped him onto his back would be wholly inaccurate; however, Carlisle did indulge me and rolled us over when I pushed lightly on his shoulders. While he lay beneath me and stared up at me with dark eyes, I pulled the green dress up over my head, flinging it to the floor. The sudden loud rumble that vibrated through his chest shocked me and had me trembling in anticipation. I carefully braced my weight on his chest, knowing that I was as a light as a feather to him, and let my gaze caress agonizingly slowly over his pale, gorgeous form.

"Carlisle Cullen," I whispered in my most reverent voice as I continued to memorize every line of his body, "you are truly the most gorgeous man upon this Earth." I looked back up at him, my eyes locking with his. "I know that I cannot make you see what I see when I look at you. I know that you will not trust in your humanity overnight. But I want you to swear to me that even when you doubt yourself, you will never doubt me, because I see the real you…You assume that your physical form is only a disguise for a predator beneath, but I know the truth. The physical beauty that I see before my eyes only reflects the divine beauty of your soul, Carlisle."

I knew that if he could cry, he would be. His eyes looked haunted again, regretful, wistful, and were glazed with venomous tears that could never fall. I smiled reassuringly at him as his hand reached up to stroke my cheek. "Carlisle, you seem to believe that you are a monster hidden beneath the façade of a human. That's not true. Your soul is purely human and perfectly infused with the form an immortal being. You, Carlisle Cullen, are truly the most beautiful being in this world." I leaned down and kissed his lips tenderly. "And you're mine."

I suddenly found myself on the mattress, my mate's arms wrapped around me securely, his face buried in my curls as he held my body against his. _"Oh, bella mia…_If you only knew the things I have done, what ghosts trouble my past," he murmured into my hair before pulling away to gaze at me. "I can hardly believe that I have you. _Mi amore_…If there is an afterlife for my kind then I do not fear judgment, for I could not be damned and have such a treasure as you, _cara mia_." He looked more like he was trying to convince himself of this, like he was assuring himself that he would be saved from a burning hell by my existence in his life. He kissed the top of my head, my forehead, and my eyelids. He kissed every inch of my face, before sighing in contentment.

I felt a movement that barely registered in my mind and as the thick blue blanket draped around me, I realized that he must have picked me up and placed me under the covers with his speed. I was, however, a bit disappointed not to feel his cool skin against mine and apparently my displeasure at not having him so close was written on my face, because he chuckled. "I do not need my mate freezing to death in the middle of the night."

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm staying the night?"

He nodded. "Alice called about five minutes ago to tell your father that you were having an amazing time—" he smirked, obviously pleased with himself "—and asked if you could spend the night. Apparently, there is one more person to add to the list of people that can't say no to Alice."

I laughed. "He adores her."

"That could be quite useful in the future, I do believe."

I shook my head in amusement and reached up to stroke his face, noticing almost immediately that his eyes were still solid black. I nibbled on my lower lip and worried about whether or not I should ask him about hunting, particularly with Edward in the woods. Throwing caution to the wind, I rose up and kissed his cheek. "It's been a rather interesting evening. Is it all right for you to go hunting, considering Edward is…less than happy and having a tantrum in the woods?"

His lips pulled downwards in a frown. "I did not wish to worry you with that, but now that you bring it up, I feel that I should tell you. Not long after Esme and Rosalie left, Esme returned. I heard her talking to Alice downstairs. Apparently, Edward attacked Rosalie when she made it to the clearing. He managed to put a rather nasty crack in her cheek, which displeased Emmett to say the least. When Emmett tried to attack Edward, Edward managed to outmaneuver him and started running toward the house. Jasper decided that he was tired of having to keep Edward under control and simply rendered him unconscious. Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper are taking Edward to the Denali clan in Alaska." He sighed. "The Denali sisters are rather powerful themselves and will keep him under control until he calms down."

He studied me carefully, concern etched into every line of his face. "I need to go hunting, but I do not wish to leave you alone—" he cast a sharp glance to the bedroom door and rolled his eyes "—though, Alice says that she and Esme can keep you company if I go."

I gave him a small smile and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "You should go hunting. Edward's gone. He can't hurt either one of us. You go hunt, and I'll go eat a piece of the cake, since I didn't get to before. It would be a shame for Alice to have spent all that money and just leave it there to sit."

He chuckled before leaning down and nuzzling my neck, and I felt myself relax considerably when a slight rumble came from his chest. "Are you sure you will be okay?" he questioned through the soft purr.

"Yes. I promise." I threaded my fingers through his silky blond locks. "Mmm…That truly is the most beautiful sound. It makes me feel safe, cherished."

"You are, _mia cocca_."

"_Cocca?_"

His purr grew louder. "Literally, it means coconut. Figuratively, it means pet."

"Lovely," I chortled, before suddenly asking, "Have I told you that I adore you?" When he just growled in response, I giggled and then gently pushed at his shoulders, hopping out of the bed. I was surprised yet unquestionably thrilled by how comfortable I felt with him, and with a wicked glance at my mate, bending down to retrieve his shirt. It was several sizes too big for me, but I slipped it on anyway. I grinned as his eyes took in my every move and I slowly sashayed toward him, buttoning the material as I moved. I let my hands trail up his beautiful marble chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm okay, Carlisle. I'll wait up for you."

He seemed very hesitant about leaving, as if doing so would cut some lifeline, but he nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of my head before reluctantly making his way to the window. He glanced back at me as he pushed the window open.

I smiled and had just turned my back to him, when suddenly the Earth had spun and his lips were against mine, an unusual and soft growl coming from his throat. "Make me," he whispered harshly, his voice filled with pleading. "I don't want to leave you. Tell me to go."

I sighed softly, feeling my heart ache for him, and stroked his back. "You, Carlisle Cullen, need to go hunt and come back to me fast." I hugged him tightly and cooed in his ear, "I promise, Carlisle. I'm okay. What's happened tonight is a lot to take in, but I'm a big girl. I can handle it. As long as you are mine, everything is okay."

"I am yours forever, _cara mia_."

"And I'm yours. Always." Those words flowed so freely that it surprised me. It was like my world—a world that had been tipped on its axis by Edward—was suddenly righted, and that balanced seemed far better than it had previously been. It felt like I had just recovered some missing piece of an invisible puzzle. I stepped back and stared intently at him. "Carlisle, I am yours. Only yours...I want you to go hunt. I'll be waiting downstairs for you. Okay?"

He inhaled deeply, as if drawing all his strength, turned faster than I could comprehend, and disappeared into the night.

I picked up my dress and draped it over the foot of the bed. I briefly considered searching for something to wear under Carlisle's shirt, but decided that it was long enough and covered everything appropriately—I did not want anyone seeing my underwear. I took my time walking down the stairs. I doubted that the male vampire would be too happy to come back to find his mate with a broken leg. When my feet hit the floor, I heard a chuckle and glanced over to see Alice and Esme both smirking.

They had obviously cleaned the living room while I was upstairs. All the glass, candles, and roses were gone and the presents were stacked in the corner. The cake, however, was right where it was before the unfortunate attack.

As I started across the room, Alice was in front of me, holding out a plate with a slice of cake and a glass of milk. "How are you?" she asked timidly.

I inhaled deeply, my eyes drifting shut for a moment, before they snapped open. "I'm really okay." I let her lead me to the sofa where I sat between her and the matriarch of the family. "I'm not going to lie—it's a lot to deal with. I mean, it is, but it isn't. Before I walked in the door, I thought I loved Edward. He was with me practically all the time, but now it feels different."

I paused trying to think of a way to explain it. "Before, I felt like I was Edward's, and now, in this moment, I feel like I've been pulled out of a vat of cotton candy or something. I was so immersed in Edward that it never occurred to me that the hazy feeling wasn't…right. And it was always awkward with Edward. It was like he wanted to control me." I shook my head, annoyance welling up inside me. "And he kept saying that I was too good for him, yet he never let me be me. He never wanted me to think for myself, and the few times he let me, he was not happy about it. There was always this tension in the air and it was so…real. It was like you could reach out and touch that invisible cloud of strain."

I worried my lower lip between my teeth for a moment before speaking. "When I first saw Carlisle, I felt _something_. I couldn't tell what it was. I couldn't _quite_ put my finger on it, so I chalked it up to the fact that he was a vampire, a very attractive vampire." I hummed to myself thoughtfully. "I felt this pull toward Carlisle every time we were close, but that wasn't often, since Edward didn't want me around your family." I snorted indignantly. "Now I see why. But if I'm Carlisle's mate then that's going to have to be something that Edward has to accept. I feel bad that he's hurting, really, I do. But the truth is that as much as I loved Edward, I can't deny what I'm feeling now. It feels right. It feels…familiar."

I glanced at Esme with worry, nibbling on my lower lip, and she noticed immediately. "Bella," she said gently, "you needn't worry about me. Carlisle and I are the dearest of friends, but nothing more. While it is true that I have been without a mate for a long time, he's been searching for his for almost four centuries. I'm happy that he's found you." She pulled me into a motherly hug and stroked my hair in a comforting way that I could only wish that Renée had done as I was growing up.

When she released me, I offered them both a watery smile. "I-I just feel like your family is going to be ripped apart because of me. I don't want that to happen."

"Bella," Alice huffed, "I keep telling you that it's not your fault, and it's not. Edward picked and chose what parts of my visions he wanted to see. He knew all along that you belonged to Carlisle. He not only chose to ignore that you are Carlisle's mate, he continuously dazzled you to keep you somewhat under his control. What he did was wrong, and now he has to face the consequences. It won't be easy, Bella, but in time, Edward will get over it. It will take a while, but it will happen. I promise."

I believed her.

.

I was curled up in a warm afghan on the black leather sofa, eating cake and drinking chocolate milk. I was certain that a few of my friends would laugh if they knew that I was guzzling down chocolate milk. But it was my comfort beverage, and by George, after my insightful evening, I felt that I damn well deserved several ounces of comfort!

It occurred to me that with Edward gone, along with Jasper, Alice and I would be the only two going to school tomorrow, and I was quite nervous about that. Rosalie and Emmett were supposed to be off at college, so only Alice, Edward, and Jasper still attended high school. While I shared several classes with Edward, I only shared one with the pixie and the Texan. This meant that, for the majority of the day, I would be alone, a thought that did not appeal to me in the slightest. Also with Edward being away for who-knew-how-long, we would have to come up with a reasonable explanation. Saying that he was ill with a virus would only buy us a few days at the most. Saying that he had something more serious would probably raise questions. It was briefly discussed that Edward could have found his birth parents and had moved to be with them, but that was a step that the family was not willing to take yet. They believed that once he had calmed down he would come back. For the time being, the best solution was to say that Edward was checking out a few colleges in Europe. This would give us, at least, a week or two to see how Edward would handle the change of events.

I had finished my cake and milk and was taking in the light and airy appearance of the room, the white walls and carpet, when another thought came to me. I voiced my concern, or rather my curiosity, to Esme and Alice. I was a bit surprised to have had such a change of emotions in the span of only a few hours. Fortunately, they both calmly explained the intricacies of 'vampiric mating habits' to me. The term had my lips twitching, and I had the sneaking suspicion that Alice used it on purpose, to try to get a reaction from me. It almost worked.

Between two vampires, the pull was apparently instantaneous and almost entirely irresistible. Under normal circumstances, the draw between a vampire and a human was almost as equally intense. The fact that Carlisle had struggled to resist the pull and his own nature had put a strain on the spiritual thread that connected us. To make it more difficult, Edward had often kept me dazzled, masking it in a hazy blanket of confusion. So between Edward's ability, and Carlisle resisting his nature and thereby allowing me to remain with the younger vampire on the other, the bond between us was rather wan. When I questioned them about what would have happened had Carlisle continued to ignore the pull, Alice's expression turned grave. All she would say was that it would have ended disastrously. The look in Esme's eyes told me that 'disastrously' was the pixie's kind way of saying that Carlisle would have died; I could only presume that a broken heart would have led to him having someone take his life.

Alice lightened the mood, however, by continuing her explanation, saying that due to the Cullen leader admitting his feelings and telling me of the bond between us, it released the biggest pressure from the strained lifeline, therefore allowing that bond's energy to grow. I thought, given one of the persons involved, that her analogy of a pinched IV tubing was quite humorous.

I voiced this, and just as the words left my mouth in a loud giggle, his bedroom door flew open and he blurred down the stairs, stopping suddenly. He took in my relaxed appearance and bright smile and made to step forward, but froze. He quite genuinely froze—not paused like a human, he froze. He was totally immobilized, as solid and as unmoving as a statue, and that made me nervous.

When I started to stand, Esme stopped me with a hiss. "Do not move, Bella."

"What's wrong?" I questioned back. "Is he okay?"

"He's in shock," Alice supplied in hushed tones as she ever-so-slowly tucked her legs underneath her. She glanced at the man, regarding him silently, then turned her eyes back to me, catching my incredulous expression. "Yes, Bella, vampires can go into shock. It doesn't happen often. It only happens during times when they are just overcome with too many emotions. Emotions are more intense for vampires and when they're overwhelmed, they go into a type of sensory overloaded. The only vampire that I've seen it happen to before is Jasper. It doesn't happen all the time, but because Jasper feels and absorbs the emotions of practically everyone he comes in contact with, it happens more frequently than with most vampires. This is the only time I've seen Carlisle go into shock."

Esme agreed with Alice. "I was changed not long after Edward, and I've never seen Carlisle shut down before."

"Shut down?" I could feel the panic growing inside me. "What's going to happen to him?"

The matriarch shook her head. "Nothing is going to happen, Bella. I promise. When a vampire goes into shock, it's pretty much our body's way of forcing us to stop and let our mind have time to comprehend and absorb everything. Vampires have an eidetic memory. Every single little thing that we do, say, think, see, smell, feel..._any _input we encounter, we remember forever. Normally, our brains can keep up, but sometimes, when you add to all of that stimuli enormous waves of emotions, it becomes too much. Our body just shuts down temporarily to keep us from doing much of anything while it sorts out all the input. We can't speak. We can't move. We can't breathe. The only thing that we have left is our hearing and vision.

"However," she drawled, "instinct is the strongest force within a vampire. If you were to make any sudden movements, his distracted brain would see it as a threat. Because you're his mate, he can't possibly directly hurt you. Unfortunately that doesn't mean that he can't hurt himself and pull the house down around our ears."

I glanced at Carlisle, still frozen like a statue. "So he can see us and hear us?"

"Yes," Esme replied. "They're protective measures. If we lost all our senses during shock, we would be vulnerable to attack."

"What triggered it?"

Alice bit her lip and looked uncomfortable. "Well, I don't want you to feel guilty, but knowing you, you will anyway. It was probably hearing you laugh and seeing you happy. He's been fretting about how you are handling the entire situation. That has pretty much been the only reason that he hasn't gone into shock already. Seeing you relaxed was a trigger in his mind that you are okay. Knowing that you are both physically and emotionally okay, his mind gave his body the okay to shut itself down."

I let my eyes drift back to Carlisle, who had obviously dressed before coming downstairs. The black slacks hung low on his hips and a perfectly tailored, steel-blue, button-down shirt hugged his muscled chest and mouth-wateringly broad shoulders; I was so thankful that the sleeves were once again rolled up, revealing his powerful forearms. God almighty, he had the most gorgeous body on the face of the planet! I resisted the temptation to look up into his eyes, because I felt a bit guilty sitting here discussing him, especially knowing that he could see us and hear every single word. Not that it would have really mattered, I guess. There was no place in the house that we could go and not be heard. I bit my lip. "I supposed that it's probably rude to talk about him when he's like this."

"Probably," Alice chirped happily. "But it's not like we can go anywhere if we don't want him to destroy the house; and even if we could leave, we can hear for miles. And what were we supposed to do, Bella? Not tell you what's happening and let you sit there and panic?"

I sighed. "Good point. But...well...it's got to be uncomfortable, don't you think? I mean—" I barely waved my hand in his direction "—look at him! He can see and hear everything we do. It's got to be awkward."

"I know! Isn't it great?" the black-haired girl giggled wickedly.

I gaped at her, noticing that Esme's lips were twitching with a suppressed smile. "Alice!"

"Oh, c'mon, Bella!" she exclaimed with a smirk. "It's funny, you have to admit. He's stuck there. He can't move. And we could tell the most embarrassing and dirty stories and he can't do anything about it."

Esme gave up the ghost and chortled before cutting the sound short, throwing a bemusedly apologetic glance up to my mate. "I'm sorry, Carlisle, dear, but she's right. It is kind of funny."

"Oh my God!" I stared at them both, trying desperately to keep my expression under control. "You two are horrible!"

Alice gave me a big smirk. "Then why are your lips twitching?" When I mumbled "are not," she burst out laughing. "You know that you want to laugh, Bella!"

I could feel my face turning bright red. I felt bad, really I did, but they _were_ kind of right. I could not let my mate see me laughing though, so I dropped my head into my hands as my lips curled into a grin.

"I know you are not laughing, _cara mia,"_ he whispered in my ear.

I let out a blood-curdling scream and jumped a good foot into the air, landing beside the sofa with a loud thump. I glared up at the three vampires who practically roared with laughter. I reached behind me, grabbed two pillows and hurled them at the two females before snatching the afghan and hugging it tightly. "That was _not_ funny," I murmured petulantly, glaring at Carlisle as he sat beside me on the floor. "And just how long were your supposedly frozen?"

He smiled and drew me into his embrace, and despite my annoyance with him, I let him hold me close. "I came out of my shock while you were undressing me with your eyes." When I growled, he chuckled loudly. "Has anyone ever alerted you to the fact that you look simply adorable when you are irritated? It is very much like watching an angry kitten when its master takes away the string, bouncing around and hissing with its little claws out."

I glowered at him. "You know, I can sleep alone tonight!"

He smirked. "You could, but you will not."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"You cannot say no to me, _mia diletta,"_ he replied confidently.

I hummed in disbelief and clambered to my feet, instantly feeling his chest against my back and his nose nuzzling behind my ear. When he began to purr, the sound tickling my ear, his chest vibrating against me, I felt my knees go weak. I knew the only thing keeping me upright was his strong arms around my trembling form.

"Are you entirely certain that you wish to sleep alone tonight?" he purred, his tongue darting out to trace the shell of my ear. "I cannot deny you anything, _mia cocca,_ if that is what you truly wish," he teased me.

Sweet God above, this man was going to be the death of me, truly he was, although I was not quite sure how his family would explain 'death by sexual tension'.

Not caring that we had witnesses, I turned in his arms and kissed him passionately, running my arms over those sinful shoulders. When I pulled away, I stared hungrily at him as the phrase 'melt in your mouth, not in your hands' flitted through my lust-soaked brain, and I whispered, "Take me to bed."

.

I had been both relieved and disappointed when, after returning to Carlisle's bedroom, he had gently placed me beneath the covers and simply held and nuzzled me while I drifted off to sleep. As much as I cared for him, and as strong as our bond seemed to be growing, it was still very fast. I felt that I had not really had a chance to catch my breath all evening. He seemed to sense this, so while I was certain there was an instinct deep within him to now mate physically with me, his love for me won out. He was giving me time to adjust to the sudden shift in our relationship. I also could not help but wonder if it was also because he needed time to adjust to the rising urges of his vampiric nature.

Whatever his reasons had been, I was very grateful. I fell into a blissful sleep, the vibration and sound of his deep purr surrounding me.

When I woke, the glass wall revealed a gray morning. I realized that Carlisle must have opened the curtain at some point during the night. I yawned and stretched before rolling over onto my side, feeling a tingle of elation to find two citrine eyes watching me, darting over my features and the waves of my hair. When he leaned closer to kiss my lips, I smirked, keeping my lips pursed as he raised an eyebrow.

He seemed thoroughly baffled for a moment, but when I continued to grin, my lips firmly shut, he exhaled heavily and shook his head at me. _"Mia gioia,_ certainly you are not denying your mate the pleasure of your divine lips simply because you are worried about a little morning breath?"

When I frowned, he smirked, so I rolled off the bed and trotted toward the bathroom, only to find it blocked at the last moment. I lifted a hand to shoo him away. He only shook his head. I stomped my foot. He leaned back against the door. I growled menacingly at him. He growled right back, grinning the entire time. I stared at him for a few moments, before coming up with an idea.

With a bright smile, I turned on my heel and took two steps toward the bedroom door, watching him blur by to block me from leaving. I then immediately spun around and grasped the bathroom door handle. I wrenched it open and dashed inside, only to be caught before I could even make it to the sink. I shrieked in protest as I went soaring through the air in his grasp, and I huffed when his lips came down on my mine and parted them with ease. I held his gaze as he kissed me, his eyes twinkling with the laughter that vibrated in his chest. I tried to continue glaring, but it was useless, so I returned the kiss happily as his arms drew me closer.

He released me after a few moments, smirking triumphantly. I rolled my eyes at him and strutted back into the bathroom, closing the door behind me, only to yank it back open, exclaiming rather loudly that I had no clothes to wear. He laughed and lifted a pair of jeans and a sweater that I had not previously noticed off the chest-of-drawers. "Esme sneaked into your bedroom last night and brought back something for you to wear." He passed them to me, grinning like a cat that caught the canary. "I'll have breakfast waiting when you come downstairs."

I slammed the door, muttering 'smug bastard' underneath my breath, knowing full well that he could hear me. I then stood for a moment, taking in the utter opulence of the bathroom. The floor was made of pale gray porcelain tiles and the walls were a startling white. A large, glass walk-in shower was in the far right corner, and along the back wall was a shelf covered in the fluffiest towels that I had ever seen in my life. To my surprise, a flat-screen television was mounted between the far left corners. I could not, for the life of me, figure out why a television was in the bathroom. I mean, I knew several humans who did the same thing, but humans regularly took baths and showers. Vampires, I knew, were not plagued with the same bodily functions as my species and therefore did not sweat. Of course, I supposed they could have just enjoyed a bath for the pure pleasure of it. Why not? I did quite regularly.

The actual tub was a massive Jacuzzi that could fit four people, at least. It was surrounded with white and silvery marble—or at least it was on three sides. There had to be at least one panel that was fake in case something malfunctioned and it needed repair. It had small steps leading up to it. Four white pillars, with ivy and wisteria curling around them, stretched from the floor to the high ceiling. The ivy and wisteria, one of my favorite flowers, amused me. It was beautiful, of course, but the idea that Carlisle had allowed his bathroom to be decorated with vines and flowers was quite humorous.

I went to the sink, surprised to see my toothbrush with a note attached to it. _I got some of your stuff last night. Alice and I put up the plants during the night. She said that you love wisteria, so I thought it you'd like it. Relax and enjoy! ~Esme_

The only thing that escaped my lips was 'awww...' I was touched by their gesture. With a glance at the small clock above the sink to check the time, I decided that I would definitely be putting their thoughtfulness to good use. I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my hair before filling up the massive tub and starting the jets. As I relaxed, I turned on the television and quickly searched through the satellite listings until I found some music. I smiled as the soft sounds of acoustic guitars filled the air and closed my eyes, letting the bubbling jets lull me into a lovely little trance. When a knock at the door broke through my bliss-filled state of being, I frowned. "I don't wanna go to school," I slurred unhappily to whoever disturbed me.

Alice's tinkling laugh made my lips twitch—no one could possibly stay upset with the pixie. "Bella, your breakfast is almost ready, and we have to be at school in about forty minutes. Get your butt out, dry off, and get downstairs and eat!"

"Yes, Ma'am!" I chuckled, dragging myself out of the exquisite bathtub and drying with one of the towels that felt if it were made from clouds. I briefly wondered if it would be possible to wear the large towel to school, but I ultimately decided that it would be a rather inappropriate idea and quickly pulled on the stonewashed jeans and brown sweater. When I made my way back into the bedroom, I saw Alice holding a pair of kitten heels and I cringed. "No! Alice, just...no. You know how klutzy I am, even on flat feet!"

She grinned. "You're going to need them today, I can assure you," she said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "I promise, Bella, that you are not going to fall and break your neck."

I snatched the heels from her and slipped them on. "That doesn't mean that I won't fall and break something else, though."

She sighed. "Bella, you are not going to break anything, I promise."

"Sprain my ankle?"

"No!" She hopped up off the blue comforter and grabbed my arm, leading me slowly down the stairs. "Nothing is going to get broken. Nothing is going to get sprained."

"Have you checked my future?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed in a shrill voice. "You are not going to break anything, I swear! Would you please trust me?"

I somehow managed to make it into the kitchen and onto a stool at the island without falling, but I still did not trust Alice or her promises that I was not going to break something today. I glared at Carlisle, who slid a plate that was covered in hash browns, eggs, and strawberry-banana pancakes toward me, then at Esme. As I lifted a spoonful of scrambled eggs to my mouth, I muttered darkly, "Your child is trying to kill me."

Carlisle blurred behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his lips in my hair. Whether it was because he simply wanted to hold me or because he did not want me to see his bright grin, or possibly both, I was not sure. Esme just chuckled and promised that they "wouldn't let that happen," to which I blithely retorted that the pixie could see the future and that she could make it happen. When Alice made a comment about me thinking that she had it in for me, I smirked. "After that stunt you three pulled last night, you better damn well believe I do."

She just grinned, while Esme hid a giggle behind her hand and Carlisle's chest vibrated with laughter. "I am truly sorry, _mia diletta_, but your reaction was too wonderful to pass up."

"I'm glad that you found my terror so entertaining," I playfully growled, receiving a purr in response. _Sweet God above, I love that sound._

When he pressed a gentle kiss to my temple, I shivered, and he noticed immediately. "Are you quite okay, _bella cigna?"_ he teased, knowing exactly why I was shivering. "Perhaps, I should take you upstairs and examine you?"

I felt heat flood my face and my mouth fell open as embarrassment flooded my entire being. I could not believe that he just said that in front of Alice and Esme, who only seemed amused by response. Not quite sure of how to react or what to say, I simply sliced into the pancakes and shoved them unceremoniously into my mouth.

"_Perdonami, cara mia,"_ he cooed contritely in my ear, licking behind the sensitive shell as he tightened his grip. "Forgive me."

I smiled before tipping my head back to gaze at him. "It's okay. I'm not upset, just surprised." When the worry in his eyes faded away, amusement taking its place, I kissed the underside of his jaw before turning my attention to my breakfast. "How much crap am I going to catch from Jessica today?" I asked Alice after taking a large gulp of milk. "I know she's going to be all over Edward's absence."

Alice gave me an amused, but apologetic smile. "Do you really want me to ruin your day before it even begins?"

"That bad, huh?"

"Well, at least lunch goes really well!" she chirped happily.

"Just lunch?"

She sighed, her topaz eyes watching me sympathetically, though I could have sworn there was a trace of humor there. "The majority of the day really isn't that bad, Bella. It gets a bit rough toward the end, but it works out fine. I promise."

I felt cool fingers start to massage my neck, and a slight English accent drawled in my ear, "If it will make you feel better, I can come see you tonight when Charlie's asleep." I murmured my approval, moaning contentedly when he nuzzled the side of my throat and inhaled my scent deeply before drawing away. "I'm afraid that I must leave for the hospital, as my shift starts soon. I promise, _mia_ _piacevole,_ that I will see you this evening." When I hopped off the stool, nearly stumbling in my haste, his arms tightened around me to catch me and his lips claimed mine passionately. As he released me, he seemed hesitant to go. "Will you be all right?"

I touched his cold cheek tenderly and gave him a small smile. "I promise that I will be fine. Alice will be there, and I have every class but one with Angela Weber. But if it will make you feel better, I will text you between classes. Okay?"

This appeared to relax him greatly and he gave me an adoring smile before embracing me again. "Thank you, Isabella." He pressed his lips to my forehead, sighing. "I am sorry, _amore_." When I questioned him about why he was apologizing, he simply gave me a slight smile. "I promise that I will speak with you tonight about it. It is nothing upsetting, I assure you, but it will take too long to explain at the present time." He kissed me again. _"A dopo, cara mia. _I will see you later."

He disappeared, and when I heard his Mercedes rumble to life, I turned back to my breakfast, thinking about his farewell. Apparently, I must have been deeper into my reverie than I realized because Alice's voice cut sharply through the air, asking if I was okay. I blushed, not wanting to give away my thoughts. "Yeah, just...thinking."

"About what, sweetheart?" Esme queried, looking as equally concerned.

I shook my head. "It's nothing. Really, I'm—I'm just being silly is all."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Bella, if it has anything to do with Carlisle then there is nothing you can say or ask that would be silly. You may have been hanging around vampires for a year, but that doesn't make you an expert. Hell, Carlisle's almost four hundred, and even though he can give you clinical knowledge about anything vampire related, he's certainly never experienced even half." She perched herself on the edge of the counter. "What's up?"

I felt my face grow even hotter as I mumbled, "Um...does..." I tugged on my ear and glanced at everything in the room but my friend and my mother-figure. "Does Carlisle speak in Italian often?"

When Esme chortled, I wanted to fall through the floor due to my embarrassment. "No, Bella, dear," she said kindly. "In all the years I have known Carlisle, the only times I have heard him speak in Italian is when greeting the members of the Volturi, and _only_ in greeting."

"Oh," I murmured, dropping my eyes to the countertop in the hopes of hiding my silent delight. I found it very sweet and very romantic that Carlisle seemed to be using this language as an expression of his feelings for me.

My reaction garnered a chuckle from Alice. "Bella, is that what you were worried about?"

"Alice," Esme drawled in warning. "Don't tease Bella. I'm sure if you were in her position, you'd wonder the same thing." She turned her gentle eyes to me. "Now, Bella, dear, you need to finish up so you can get to school on time."

Within fifteen minutes, I was finished and trudging out the door, not wanting to face the questions that I knew that I would face. After all, the Cullens were rarely, if ever, out of school unless it was a sunny day, and with the skies pouring rain, Edward's absence would definitely be noticed. But oddly, aside from the questions that I knew it would bring, I didn't really mind.

.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I sincerely apologize for the mix up. **I was trying to do multiple things at once, and as most everyone has seen, I accidentally reposted chapter two as chapter three. I am so, so sorry about that, and thank you for everyone who contacted me. I honestly would not have noticed if readers hadn't said anything, because with everything going on right now, my mind is just going in too many directions. I was completely clueless, because I'd not bothered checking. I just assumed I'd marked them on my jump drive correctly. Next time, I'll pay more attention. Anyway. I hope not too many people were put out and that this posted chapter will make up for my error. (I hope I got the right one. While I was attempting to right an original story based off this fanfic, some things got screwed up. Please let me know if something seems terribly out of order.)

**.**

**THREE**

When the yellow Porsche whipped into the parking lot, I felt the dread that had been growing in my stomach turn into a full-rolling boil, and I desperately held back the urge to vomit. I closed my eyes and let my head drop onto the headrest, moaning pitifully to my friend, "Do we _have _to go? Your family's smart, with perfect memories. Can't you just home school me?"

She gave me a very sympathetic look and reached over to pat my hand. "I promise, Bella, the biggest part of your day won't be that bad. I'm not going to lie and say that it's not going to get rough, because around two o'clock, things are going to start going downhill and fast, but it won't last that long. You're going to get to see Carlisle later today, so the end of the day is not going to be horrible. Okay?" She smiled at me as we started to climb out of the car. "Just remember," she whispered to me as she linked her arm through mine, "think about Carlisle, how much he loves you and text him every chance you get. It will make the day go much faster."

I was ever-so grateful when Alice actually walked me to my class, and I immediately scurried over to Angela. I whispered that I wanted to move to the back, so she followed me, raising an eyebrow behind her glasses as I plopped my bag down with a loud _thunk_. She immediately knew something was wrong, as I was not the world's best actress. She questioned me about my birthday party with the Cullens, so I waved her in close, not wanting anyone else to hear.

"Let's just say that Doctor Cullen spent the evening digging glass out of my arm." She winced, and I nodded. "And if that wasn't bad enough..." I took a deep breath and prayed that she would not question me about this "...Edward forgot to inform me of something _very_ important. He left this morning to go to Europe to look at colleges. He's going to the UK, France, and Germany, but he's already seriously considering Oxford or Cambridge."

"Oh, Bella," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

I shrugged. "It's okay. I can't say that I'm thrilled with how things came out. I'd have liked to have been given the truth sooner, but there's nothing I can do about it now. Besides, it might be for the best. It'll give me more time to spend with my friends."

I felt a bit guilty saying that. I knew that Carlisle was having a very hard time being separated from me, and if I were to be completely honest, I was not feeling my best being away from him. It was like I could physically feel the separation in my soul, and it was not at all comfortable. Grabbing my new Blackberry—my present from Jasper, God bless his undead Southern heart—I turned it to silent and immediately texted Carlisle that I had just made it to my first class and asked if I could call him during lunch.

Almost immediately, the screen flashed at me and I opened the message to see: _Of course, mia cuore. It is a slow day. But if I do not answer, I am either in surgery or a pt room. _

_Gotcha. Um, cuore?_

_Heart, mia cuore._

_T'amo tanto._

_Parla Italiano?_

..._No._

_*smile* T'amo, bella mia. Ti amerò ora e per sempre._

_I'll love you now & forever too, but putting phone down. Teacher watching. Ttyl._

When I finished, I could see Angela eyeing me curiously, and I grimaced inwardly when she mouthed _"Was that Edward?"_ Evidently, I hesitated one second too long, because her eyes went wide, and she silently scooted her chair closer. "That wasn't Edward, was it?" she hissed beneath her breath. "I've never seen you get that excited before. Who was it?"

"Angela, I really can't ta—"

The screen on my phone flashed again, and I looked to see a message from Alice. _You can tell her you're not with Ed. Three of us talk at lunch._

I rolled my eyes and slipped my phone beneath my book again. "No, that wasn't Edward. It was...someone else. And no, I can't talk about it just yet. It's complicated, very complicated. I'll talk to you about it more at lunch, I promise. Alice is going to be joining us. Or rather, we'll be joining her. Jasper isn't here either. He's out with a cold. I think she wants the company." At Angela's surprised and slightly panicked look, I added, "Don't worry. You'll love her. She's sweet. A bit hyper, but sweet."

The rest of the class was a bit boring, and as soon as the teacher excused us, a familiar face popped into view. Another more hateful face lingered, clearly wanting to hear this conversation. I could only groan as Jessica bounced in front of me. "Sooo, Bella," she said in a disgustingly perky tone, "where's Edward? Is he sick or something?" I felt Angela put her hand on my arm and attempt to pull me away from the little gossip, but Jessica was having none of it. She cast a smirk to Lauren, before turning her attention back to me. "So what's up? Surely, Eddie is okay, isn't he?"

_Good God, can she be more obvious? _I sighed and tried to keep my gaze neutral. "Edward is in England right now. He's touring colleges in Europe. He'll be gone for awhile." I easily sidestepped her, and was thankful that Angela kept her steps perfectly matched to mine. That did not, however, mean that I was lucky. Jessica was hot on our heels, and there was no doubt in my mind that Lauren Mallory was close behind.

"He was here yesterday!" Jessica exclaimed. "Why did he leave in the middle of the week? Did you two have a fight about it? Has he called you today?"

I stopped in the doorway of our next class. "No, Jessica, we did not have a fight." I could see Alice out of the corner of my eye, practically dancing her way to her next class, which unfortunately was not with me. When she smiled and nodded, I turned my attention fully to Jessica. "He left this morning, because of the time required by the first university. No, he hasn't called today because it takes about half of the day to fly to England. Then there's about an eight-hour time difference between here and the UK. I doubt that I'm going to hear from him while he's gone, and that's okay. Edward is not my world! I'll survive, and if I can survive, I'm _sure _you can too!" I stomped to a desk in the back and threw myself angrily into the chair beside Angela, immediately texting Carlisle. _If I kill Jessica or Lauren, will your family spring me from prison?_

_I'm sorry you're having bad day. Mi spiace, mi amore. I am sorry. T'amo. Just think of me nuzzling & purring softly in your ear._

*_blush* Have I told you that I love hearing your purr?_

_Have I told you that I love knowing how you react to it?_

_Carlisle!_

_*smirk* Yes, mia diletta?_

_*rolls eyes* Class starting. I ttyl. T'amo._ I hid my phone and prayed to God that the rest of my day would get better. Apparently, he heard my prayer, because I made it to lunch without falling and without any more problems from Jessica and Lauren. The last class before lunch was the best, because the terrible-two had yearbook with Angela, and I was free of their nosey glares.

I was already sitting, eating my lunch, when Angela joined me at the Cullens' table, looking rather nervous. "Alice will be here soon." When she fidgeted, I sighed. "Would you sit down? She won't bite!" I laughed for a moment then frowned when I noticed that Lauren and Jessica had sat down at a table right behind us. I rolled my eyes. "You know, if you really don't want to sit with me and Alice, I'll understand. Especially since Tweedledee and Tweedledum will want to sink their hooks into you for _inside information_," I said with dramatic flair at the end.

Just at that moment, Alice danced into view. "Bella!" she chirped as she hugged me. Straightening, she turned to my shy friend and smiled brightly. "Hi, Angela! I'm Alice." The look on Angela's face when the pixie hugged her was priceless, but Alice did not seem to notice, folding herself gracefully into a chair beside me. "So, everyone's asking about Edward."

"Really, Alice? I hadn't noticed." I rolled my eyes at her, before glancing at Angela, then back to the dark-haired vampire. "Are you sure?" I muttered under my breath, feeling anxious when she nodded. I nibbled on my lower lip for a moment before turning to Angela, who seemed a little bit dazed at what was happening around her. I remembered those days. I pulled her in close and decided that I had to make good on my promise and tell her the truth. "Edward and I aren't together anymore." I wasn't too surprised when she didn't act shocked—she simply nodded and looked sympathetic. "It's okay, honestly," I continued. "Our relationship wasn't exactly...healthy."

"You know that Jessica and Lauren are going to give you hell when they find out," she said softly. "What are you going to tell people? What's going to happen when Edward comes back?"

"God only knows," I murmured darkly but shook my head. "Honestly, Edward has been putting a strain on our relationship for a while. He was controlling, and the fact that he didn't even have the decency to be honest with me was the last straw. Edward has screwed up, and while I am willing to forgive him, he doesn't have another chance."

"Wow..." she drawled as studied me. I knew she was trying to figure out if there was more to my story and if I was really okay. Since it was Angela, I did not mind. If it were Jessica, it would have annoyed the hell out of me, but that was simply because Jessica's and Angela's motives were entirely different. While Jessica would want more information for gossip's sake, Angela just wanted to know that her friend was fine. "So, who's the new guy?" she queried with a smirk after ascertaining that I was, as I said, okay. "You've never seemed that happy with Edward?"

"It's no one you've met," I replied. "It's—" I about slid out of my chair and under the table when, to my horror, my Blackberry, which had been taken off of silent, blared Iron Maiden's cover of 'Doctor, Doctor'.

Having only received it last night, and not having had any calls until now as I had spent the night with the Cullens, I was completely unaware that Jasper had, apparently, set tones for everyone's names. I highly doubted, though, that he was aware of how difficult this situation would be to explain when he programmed it. I am sure he had meant it to be funny, but let's face it: One of the kids could relay it whatever news would ever need to be given to me. So why would Doctor Carlisle Cullen be calling me? At lunch?

I hopped to my feet, walking as swiftly as I could out of the cafeteria, and answered the phone, hissing into the receiver, "I'm going to kill your son!"

"Which one?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Do you have any idea what Jasper put as your ringtone?"

"Oh..."

I sighed heavily. "It's okay, I'm sure. I can just say that you were calling to check up on me because of Edward." I blinked in surprise when I heard him growl, and realized that he must be alone in his office. "Carlisle?" I whispered warily.

"I'm quite all right, _bella mia_. I am just feeling somewhat...possessive."

The embarrassment in his voice was obvious, and I felt my heart go out to him, knowing that he was not at all used to his instincts and feelings surfacing. He was always so calm and controlled that I felt certain that his reactions were probably quite confusing and upsetting to him. "Carlisle," I cooed tenderly, "it's perfectly all right. It's in your nature, and to be honest, I find it rather endearing that I mean that much to you."

I could almost feel the rumble building inside of him and grinning at his next words. "You mean the world to me, _cara mia_." He was silent for a moment, though whether it was to let me take in and process his words or if he was simply savoring the moment, I was not sure. "How are you faring, Isabella?"

I hesitated, not wanting to worry him, but apparently my momentary silence was enough to catch his attention, because he immediately inquired as to what was wrong. I exhaled noisily and came clean with him. "I don't exactly feel comfortable being away from you. It feels like there is a chunk of my soul missing."

He sighed through the phone, and I could just imagine his sad topaz eyes, which made my heart ache even more. "I am sorry, _m'amore_. I knew that today would quite possibly be difficult for us. But to what extent, I could not have imagined. Perhaps, if I had allowed myself to feel as a vampire, in place of trying to experience life as a human, then I would be more prepared to help you through this."

I shook my head. "Carlisle, you did what you thought was best for you. You were trying to be better than what you felt you were. That is nothing to be ashamed of, just as there is no reason for you to be ashamed of how you're feeling and what is happening between us. It's okay. We'll figure it out together and be better for it in the end."

I could almost sense the smile creeping on to his face. "How is it, _mia diletta_, that I have been given such a treasure as you?"

I smirked. "Just lucky, I guess!"

.

I was thrilled that I had made it through the biggest part of the day without any major confrontations and without any injuries whatsoever. I had just one class left, and if I could make it through, I would be home free. I would see Carlisle in only a few hours, so I doubted there was anything that could happen that could bring me down.

"Oh, Bella!"

I grimaced at the high-pitched voice that came from behind me as I walked down the hall. Of all the times for Angela to abandon me for her bladder!

"Bella!" Jessica practically squealed as she bounced up beside me, reminding me of a mentally challenged rabbit on speed. "I noticed you were texting someone in English. Was it Eddie? I know you miss him. I'm really sorry that he left you here alone. I know that it's got to be hard for you, Bella."

I rolled my eyes and picked up my speed, wobbling slightly on the kitten heels. "Honestly, Jessica, I really don't care. It's a good opportunity for Edward, and I'm glad that he got invited."

"Well, yeah, it's good for _him_," she drawled, "but what about _you_? What if he wants to go to college in Europe? What're you going to do without him? Are you going to break up? Because, you know, that whole long-distance-relationship-thing just doesn't work."

I bit back a growl. "Well, if he chooses to go to Europe to attend college, I guess we'll break up."

She gasped, and I knew that it was utterly insincere. I had given her just what she wanted to hear, but I really did not care at that point. I just wanted to get rid of her and get through the rest of the day.

"Bella, how truly awful for you!"

I tried to keep my expression neutral as she chattered on and on about how horrible my life would be without Edward. I was overjoyed, for the first time since meeting him, to see Mike Newton standing beside his open locker. If Jessica saw him, then maybe she would stop bugging me and would latch onto him. I absolutely could not make it to my locker soon enough, and just as a thrill of hope shot through me that I would be able to detach the gossiping parasite from me, it happened.

The cliché states that haste makes waste. In my case, haste makes injuries.

I could see it as if it were happening in slow motion. In my determination to pass Jessica off to Mike, I had practically broke into a run, tripping over thin air and plummeting head first into the corner of Mike's locker door. I felt flesh rip open at the inner corner of my eyebrow and my wrist twist painfully as I tried to keep the rest of my body from slamming into the metal cabinets. I could hear gasps from all around me. I could sense Mike and Tyler picking up my books, which had flown in every direction. I could see Jessica motioning frantically, and I could feel her grabbing my arm as she dragged me through the halls. It was only when we had made it to the nurse's office that I fully began to comprehend what had happened. I grimaced at the sticky wetness trickling down into my eye. I blinked and wiped furiously, a terribly woozy feeling overtaking me at the sight of my own blood smeared on my hand.

In some distant part of my mind, I found it highly amusing that I could not stand the sight of blood, yet I was the mate of a nearly-four-hundred-year-old vampire, whose ultimate desire was to taste mine.

I was annoyed that out of all the injuries that I could have sustained, it was this one. My mate was slowly adjusting to his own natural instincts, and I show up, bleeding my way into his hospital. It was not at all fair, and I felt a bit put out with Alice. As I replayed our conversation in my mind, it occurred to me that I never asked her about splitting my face open. Alice had told me the truth, quite literally: Nothing was broken, and even though it was sore, I was certain that my wrist was not sprained.

Evil little pixie! Forget Jasper. I was going to kill his wife.

As much as I was loathed to accept Jessica's help, I knew that it would be impossible for me to drive. For one thing, my truck was at Charlie's. And even if I had it, I would have either had to drive with one hand while I kept the blood out of my eye, or used both hands to drive and let my blood pour down my face. So, miserably, I let her usher me into her car and drive me to the hospital.

I _really _did not want to go to the hospital. Carlisle was just starting to allow his instincts to surface and he was still rather unsure of himself. I could never think less of him if he gave into his nature and drank from me as soon as he had me in his grasp. But, I wanted him to be able to first taste me when he was confident in himself, when he was relaxed and wholly accepting who he was. If he were to drink from me now, I knew that he would feel guilty and ashamed about it later on...On the flipside though, I knew that Carlisle had centuries' worth of control and that worried me just as much. When it came to every human but me, he had absolutely no pull to their blood, so there was nothing really to resist. I, however, was different. He had an unusually strong draw to my blood, so there was something for him to resist. I was worried that after having finally given into certain instincts, if he did not give in to his desire to taste me, it would put us back at square one. I was worried that he would fall back into his usual habits of repressing practically every aspect of his nature.

Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.

I was really going to give Alice an earful when I got her alone next.

When we made it into the emergency room, I realized why Carlisle had been free to text me so much: it was _slow_. The unit receptionist immediately directed me into a room, and I was beyond frustrated when Jessica trotted in behind me. I briefly wondered, if I were to kill her there in the hospital, would it be easier or harder for Carlisle to dispose of the body?

As if knowing that he was in my thoughts, the door opened to reveal the blond vampire. He was smiling with pleasant professionalism, as if it was not his mate that was sitting before him with a head wound that was bleeding steadily. "Bella." He nodded in my direction, before glancing with polite curiousness at Jessica. "Miss Stanley, thank you for bringing Bella in."

"Of course, Doctor Cullen," she replied with a slight giggle. She made no effort to hide the way that her eyes raked over him, obviously appreciating the way his navy slacks hung low on his hips and the silver-blue shirt and white lab coat stretched across his shoulders. She licked her lips—she actually _licked_ her lips-and batted her eyelashes at him. "Bella's friends just want to know that she's okay."

I could not stop the way my upper lip pulled back from my teeth or my fingers curled into claws as my muscles tensed.

"Bella?" My mate's voice relaxed me instantly, and I reluctantly turned my gaze to him. "How did this happen?" he asked softly.

"She fell," Jessica supplied, smiling as though she had said something incredibly brilliant and utterly hysterical.

"Thank you, Bella," I retorted sarcastically, my eyes shooting daggers at her when her lips curled into a sneer. I was astounded that she would actually look at me as if I were the one who had done something wrong by speaking up. I opened my mouth to give her a piece of my mind but was rudely interrupted by my own mate.

"Miss Stanley, thank you very much for bringing Isabella. I will make certain that she makes it home safely." Despite his polite smile and pleasant tone, it was entirely obvious that Carlisle was dismissing Jessica. As his stance shifted from being completely relaxed to standing perfectly straight, he clearly was not going to allow her to stay in the room.

Her smile faltered for a moment before she recovered. "I'll wait for you in the waiting room, Bella." She smiled brightly. "I want to be able to tell everyone you're okay!"

The moment the door closed behind her, I heard Carlisle whisper '_puttana_' in a thoroughly unpleasant tone, before he blurred around the room and then stopped before me. All the supplies he would need to stitch the gash were now sitting on a tray beside him.

"Do I even want to know what that means?" I asked grumpily. Actually, I had a good idea of what it meant.

Cleaning the wound with iodine, he frowned. "Mildly speaking, a very loose woman...Being what I am, I am unfortunately used to such reactions from human females. I am quite accustomed to ignoring such conduct, but knowing that she affected you as deeply as she did disturbs me beyond words. It was a repulsive display, and I was not going to stand for you being subject to that behavior." He finished disinfecting the gash and picked up a syringe, prepared to numb the area. "So, _bella mia_," he cooed, "are you going to tell me what happened?"

I smiled mischievously. "Mike Newton and I had an argument. He's obviously bigger than me, so I decided to settle the dispute with his locker door."

The hand holding the syringe paused in midair as his lips twitched. "Isabella."

I huffed. "All right, you caught me. The argument was with the door all along." When he rolled his eyes at me and lifted the needle again, I blurted out, "Honestly, Carlisle, that door had it coming!" I grinned as he bowed and shook his head bemusedly. "It's okay, though. I think it learned its lesson."

"_Mi bella cigna_," he chuckled, "you truly are my delight."

After he removed the needle from my flesh, I asked, "Are you okay?" I sucked my lower lip between my teeth and began to nibble.

He looked at me, bewilderment apparent in his eyes. "Of course, _cara mia._ Why ever would I not be?" When I explained to him my fears, he nuzzled my neck. "As you can tell, I am quite in control of my thirst, and ..." He broke off with a soft purr, assuring me that he was not denying his instincts.

I began fingering the collar of his lab coat and moaned, "Doctor Cullen."

He jerked back, his eyes glittering black. "Naughty girl," he growled at me, leaning toward me. His lips slowly lowered to my face, before he suddenly straightened.

I was surprised and a little hurt by his behavior. Then a knock on the door sounded loudly in the room and a nurse poked her head in, informing him that as soon as he was finished, he was needed elsewhere. I sighed. "I suppose this means Jessica gets to take me home."

He buried his lips in my hair before he pulled away and continued the process of stitching together the gash. "If you would like to wait in my office, _mi diletta,_ I will drive you home. I will not be long. My shift ends in half an hour."

I felt my eyes widen. "How do you know the patient is going to take less time than that?"

He smirked at me, his eyes never leaving his work. "There are two females. One is the mother, and the other is the patient. She's a female, and from the sound of her voice, she sounds to be around the age of eight or nine. She was limping; but her heart rate and respirations are not extremely elevated, so while she is in pain, it is not unbearable. Her lungs are clear. Her heart sounds are regular. No abnormalities." He sniffed the air. "She is not bleeding, nor is there any sign of infection." He finished with the stitches and pressed a kiss to my forehead before blurring around the room, coming to an abrupt halt in front of me, his arms braced on either side of my body. I could not help but notice the room looked spotless again. "Since I am obviously here, I cannot be one hundred percent certain, but I would suspect a twisted ankle."

My lips twitched. "Show off."

His fingers threaded into my curls and pulled my head backwards, exposing my throat to his gaze. He lowered his lips to my fluttering pulse and kissed the sensitive area gently, before nibbling his way up to my ear. "Remember that next time you are lying in my bed." He lifted me off the table and embraced me, inhaling my scent deeply. "Your friend is making her way to the room. I can only presume that I have kept you longer than her liking."

I rolled my eyes as I pulled back. "I would say that she can bite me, but I doubt you'd like to share." I smiled when he dipped his head and licked the skin over a vein in my neck and growled 'mine'. "Remember that next time I'm lying in your bed." With a mischievous giggle, I traipsed out of the room, only to come face to face with Jessica Stanley.

"Bella!" she exclaimed in annoyance. "You were in there forever! Did you pass out again?"

I glowered, muttering darkly, "Something like that." My eyes darted to Carlisle as he calmly made his way from the exam room, my file clutched in his hand. To my ever-growing aggravation, I was not the only one watching him as he passed the file to the unit receptionist.

"Wow..." Jessica drawled, causing me to roll my eyes. "Y'know Bella, if I knew that he'd be my doctor, I'd get hurt every chance I could."

"Oh my God," I groaned as I slowly trudged—I did not need to fall again-down the hall.

"Oh c'mon, Bella!" she trilled. "Can you honestly say that Doctor McHottie isn't the most gorgeous thing you have ever seen?"

From my place behind his moving form, I could see Carlisle's shoulders tensing. "Jessica, it's Edward's dad," I argued.

"So?" She rolled her eyes at me then began mentally undressing the vampire as he stood outside a door reviewing a patient's chart—I figured it was the little girl. "Look at him, Bella! I mean, really...He's gorgeous! Do you know how many women in this town would love to get him alone for a _private_ exam?" Her tone was absolutely lascivious, and I was furious at what she was implying.

"Jessica, give it a rest," I growled feeling my hands clenching and unclenching. "Seriously! That is Edward's dad for god sake! Can you _please _talk about something other than how hot you think Doctor Cullen is?" I knew that she had better, because I was coming so close to punching her in the face.

"Can I ask how loaded the Cullens are?"

"Oh my God!" I hissed furiously at her, pausing in the middle of the hall. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me!" I snarled. "What the hell is wrong with you? Are you completely brainless, or do you just enjoy being an utter bitch? Do you have _any _idea how disgustingly shallow you really are?" I watched her eyes go wide in shock. "Do you? You are the most self-absorbed, rude, obnoxious bitch that I have ever had the misfortune of meeting! The fact that you seem to think that you can gain anyone's attention and approval with your half-ass attempts at pretending to be a friend is absolutely astounding."

I took a step toward her, smiling internally as she took a nervous step backwards. "Do you remember telling me that Edward thought he was too good for everyone at school? It's because he is," I hissed low in my throat. "And, I have news for you: Edward wouldn't touch you or Lauren, or even half of the girls at school for that matter, with a ten foot pole, because frankly, he has more class than that! He doesn't _think_ he's better than you because he's rich. He _knows_ he's better than you because you have absolutely no depth of character. He knows he's better than you because you are the most distasteful excuse for a human being! If you were the last woman on Earth, Edward would still not even give you a first glance, much less a second one.

"There's a reason the Cullens keep to themselves and the kids never hang out with anyone at school. Over half of this town, and God knows the school, is so wrapped up in their own fantastical and skewed _idea _of what they think the Cullens are like that no one knows a damn thing about them!" I was trembling violently at this point, and in my periphery, I could see the mother and daughter leaving the exam room, quickly followed by my mate. "I don't blame the Cullens for never having anything to do with you and people like you. They know that people like you and Lauren are out for one thing and one thing only. And it's absolutely disgusting!

You know what, Jessica? Yes, the Cullens _are_ rich, but it's _not_ because of their money! They are truly the nicest group of people that I have ever met. They are warm and friendly, and they truly care about the people they consider their friends. They could have all the money in the world, and it would not change the fact that they are genuinely caring and loving people."

I had not realized that through my entire speech, I had backed her into a wall, until I was only mere inches away from her and she had nowhere else to go. "And let me tell you something else, Jessica Stanley. I am getting sick and tired of your bullshit attempts to act friendly, just because you want some kind of insight to the Cullens' lives. You're not getting it. And you know what else? Between you and Lauren, I think that I like Lauren just a bit more, and I loathe her to my core. At least Lauren actually has the decency to consistently be jealous and hateful; she makes no pretenses to like me. I am warning you to leave me the hell alone! I am not your friend, so stop trying to act like it."

I leaned in dangerously close and growled at her. "And if I ever hear you say one more inappropriate word about Carlisle, or any of the Cullens, in my presence again, I swear to God that _you _will be one of these rooms. I can promise you that Carlisle will not be the one you get the pleasure of seeing. Now, get the hell out of my face before I break yours!"

The horrific shock on her face morphed into the ugliest mask of hate that I had ever seen, and I briefly wondered if she was going to spit in my face. If she did, I knew that would be the last thing that she would ever do! However, to her credit, all she did was sneer and stomp away haughtily.

I turned to see Carlisle leaning against the unit counter. He was writing in a chart, but I knew the truth. He had been listening to every single word, and how displeased he may have been at my making a scene in the hallway, I was not sure of. At least I was lucky in the fact that it was a slow day and very few people were within earshot. That still did not stop me from worrying about whether or not he might be angry.

He suddenly glanced up at me with dark eyes and passed the file that he had been working on to the unit receptionist and jerked his head, gesturing me to follow him. "Isabella. My office. Now."

Oh God...He was furious.

.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N: **I want to let you know that the previous chapters were multiple combined chapters. When I originally wrote Feral Blood, I was writing about 2000 per chapter, and it had 120+ chapters. When I attempted to move it to its own blog back in 2011, I tried combining multiple chapters in one so there would not be as many of them, but eventually gave up, as I could never find an appropriate ending spot. The chapters from this point one should range between 3-5 thousand (at least to my recollection), instead of about 6-8 thousand. I also apologize again for my lack of beta reader. If there's anyone who wants to do it, let me know. Just realize that it's still a long story: About 200,000 words, and still 55-60+ chapters.

**WARNING: **Adult Content Ahead.

**.**

**FOUR**

He held the door open for me as I slinked in, completely incapable of meeting his dark gaze. I had never seen his face look so...feral, and I was starting to wonder if it were at all possible for a bond between mates to be broken. The intense waves pouring off of him had me worried about the future of our relationship.

What the hell was wrong with me? I had just torn Jessica Stanley a new one smack-dab in the middle of the emergency room. With witnesses nonetheless! I had just humiliated my mate in front of his colleagues, and now he was furious with me. I should have just kept my damn mouth shut. I vaguely heard him draw the blinds and flinched when he was suddenly towering over me, feeling the powerful waves of emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. His gaze was practically burning a hole into the top of my head, but I just could not look up. I could not bear to see the anger and disappointment in his eye. Of all the stupid things I had ever done or said throughout my lifetime, this took the cake.

"Isabella." His voice was low and raspy, and I was quite sure that he was holding back a rather nasty growl. "Look at me, Isabella." Oh, he was angry. He was using my name. My real one. Not the lovely little pet name that I had come to adore.

I slowly raised my head, but found that I could not look up beyond his chest. When he demanded, "I told you to look at me, Isabella", I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I had never heard Carlisle sound quite like that, and I suddenly felt very ashamed of my behavior, or rather the fact that my behavior had upset my mate-if he was still my mate. When I looked up to his glittering black eyes, I swallowed and took a step backwards. Whatever lecture he was going to give me, I knew that I deserved it. Yes, Jessica may have needed a good telling-off, but I really should not have done so in the middle of the emergency room. I licked my lips and waited for him to let his anger out on me.

"Do you have _any_ idea what you just did, Isabella?"

I instantly dropped my head, feeling my eyes well up with tears, and prayed they would not fall. Not that it would have mattered. I was sure he could smell the salt anyway.

"You do realize that you just—"

"I'm sorry," I whimpered, my voice cracking with emotions. "I'm sorry. I just—" I swallowed thickly and dug my fingers into the material of my jeans. If I was going to cry, I was at least going to do it with a little dignity and not wipe away the tears in a sad attempt to hide it from the vampire. "She made me so angry. I know, I know, that I shouldn't have let her get to me. But she was just looking at you like you were something to eat! The way she was looking at you...it wasn't right. She shouldn't have been looking at you like that! I just - I couldn't stand her looking at _my_ mate that way, and I sure as hell was not about to let her co—" I was slammed suddenly against his desk, his lips devouring mine hungrily. My fingers instinctively threaded into his silky blond locks as he lowered me to the desktop. His free arm sweeping away stacks of files, pens and I really didn't care what else.

As he supported me with one arm, his other hand slipping under my sweater and lacy bra, I realized that I had obviously been mistaken about Carlisle's emotions. He battled my tongue for dominance in between nibbling on my lower lip and running the tip of his tongue just under the sensitive flesh of my upper lip. While he tasted and tormented my lips, his arm slid gently out from beneath me.

Suddenly I was lying flat of my back on his desk and he was free to explore my body with both hands. I arched, biting back a loud moan as his hands pushed up the brown knit material and the black lace bra to knead my aching breasts, and growled in protest when he tore his lips away from mine. I gasped as his mouth latched onto the side of my neck, sucking eagerly at the patch of skin just over my pounding pulse, as though trying to draw my blood through the flesh without breaking it.

Well, it looked like I would be wearing a scarf to school for the next few days.

He let go of one breast, bracing himself on his forearm as his growl grew louder, and I briefly worried about someone hearing him, but when his tongue dragged slowly over the area where his lips had been, I stopped caring all together. He lapped over the vein repeatedly, murmuring _'la mia' _with each flick of his tongue, and it suddenly dawned on me that he was talking about my blood. I couldn't help myself. "Yours," I whispered harshly. "Only yours. To taste, to claim, to own...Yours, Carlisle."

The growl calmed to a purr as he licked my neck once more, before nuzzling me tenderly. "Mine. Mine, _la mia."_

"Yes, Carlisle," I moaned. "I'm yours. My blood is yours." My moan turned to a short gasp as he pinched one of my aching nipples between his fingers, his mouth lowering to posses the other, and I let my hands drop to his shoulders, my fingertips digging into the white material of his lab coat. "Doctor Cullen..."

Another loud rumble burst from his chest as he thrust his hips against mine, his erection quite obvious against my abdomen. He trailed his free hand down my stomach, where my jeans seemed to have magically come undone, and slipped his digits beneath the silk and lace of my underwear and into the wet heat of my desire. He flicked a single finger over the swollen nub and released my nipple to mumble in my ear, "Again, _cara mia."_ He thrust his hips against me, commanding, "Say it again, _cara_."

I whimpered lustily, "Please, Doctor Cullen..."

"Very good. _Molto buono,_ _bella mia,_" he praised before slipping two fingers inside, hissing when I clenched around his hand. "That's it, _mi diletta_," he purred encouragingly as he worked me into a frenzy, his thumb flicking over the sensitive button of nerves as his fingers thrust in and out of me.

"Oh God...Carlisle!" I cried out, panting as my body strained for its release.

He rumbled in my ear, his lips catching my earlobe and tugging gently before he demanded, "You know better than that, Miss Swan. While you are here in my hospital, you _will_ address me appropriately."

"Doctor Cullen..." I moaned. "Oh God...I'm so close, Doctor..."

He crooked his fingers inside me, hitting a spot that I had seriously doubted existed before, and I arched off the desk, my scream cut off by his lips on mine. He continued pumping me, deeper and deeper, and when I felt a sharp tear, I winced. His fingers stopped their thrusting as he quickly but gently moved the arm that he'd braced himself on. He carefully slid his arm under my back and gathered me close, nuzzling and purring into my ear as his thumb continued to tease my clit. _"Bella mia, tutti i miei. _You are all mine. _T'amo tanto, cara mia...La mia...Ti amerò ora e per sempre..." _

As he continued to hold me, calming me with his soft rumbles, the pain quickly faded and I felt my body getting close to its peak as his thumb played me perfectly. "I'm okay, Carlisle" I panted, thrusting my hips against his hand firmly. "I'm all right."

He lowered me slowly back to the desktop, following me down and keeping his lips close to my ear, purring for me. "You do realize, Isabella," he cooed as he once again began stroking his fingers in and out of my wetness, "that is the last time that I will allow you to call me that here." Whether he was serious about this surprising kink or if he was just tormenting me, I was not sure. Either way, it was hot as hell, and I responded accordingly, voicing my understanding as my body tightened around him, garnering a short growl. "Good girl, _Bella mia_," he rumbled, pumping me harder and faster than before. "Be a good girl for me_. Deliziarsi per me, mia cocca_. Come for me."

He didn't have to tell me again. I was his entirely-his mate, his love-and my body obeyed his command, my wet heat convulsing around his fingers as my legs twitched and my nails tore into the white lab coat. "Doctor Cullen!"

I rode a powerful wave of emotions and physical pleasure, my vision growing hazy as he embraced my shivering body. I felt high, like I was flying on some invisible cloud, and I was not sure how long it was before I came down. When my vision was clear, and my breathing and my heart rate were under control, I snuggled as close to him as I could. "Wow..."

He slowly pulled his fingers from my pussy and raised them for me to see. I was slightly embarrassed to see the red fluid coating his fingers, but my mouth fell open in surprise and arousal when he licked the blood from his fingers. "At least, I will not have to fret over your first time," he said calmly. "I wanted your first time to be perfect, but it would be impossible for me to release myself inside of you the first time with your barrier broken, due to the venom." His fingers slipped back inside me, stroking me with purpose. When he removed his fingers and sucked more of my blood from the tips, I thought I would pass out.

"Holy..." I licked my lips as I all but leered at him.

He grinned at me. "Are you quite all right, Isabella?" he queried as he pulled me into his embrace, stroking my back and pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "You thought that I was angry." When I muttered, 'you were', he shook his head. "Not at you, _cara mia._ I was quite angry at _la puttana_ for being so obvious and for upsetting you. I was not angry for your outburst." He began stroking my hair, purring softly. "I questioned you about your knowledge of what you did, because your behavior was quite violent, though not physically. That is typical in new mates who are defending their other half. While I know without a doubt that you are my mate, I was still fairly shocked to see that instinct come from you so soon, shocked and obviously...pleased."

I smirked. "You mean aroused as hell, Doctor Cullen?"

He growled playfully then he took my face in his hands. "It seems that I do not have to talk to you about my earlier apology."

I blinked, having almost forgotten about that. "Why were you going to apologize?"

He stroked my cheek and let his hand wander down to my neck. "While I have not yet experienced most of my instincts, I was aware of how my behavior is going to change during the mating process. I feared how you would react to my conduct."

I gave him an adoring look. "Carlisle, as I have told you before, there is absolutely nothing that you can say or do to upset me."

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Is that so, _bella cigna?_ You looked quite concerned earlier, when you thought that I was angry at you."

I blushed brightly. "I...That's...I..." I really didn't know what to say to that, which seemed to amuse him immensely. "Yes, well...You seem quite pleased with yourself."

He helped me off the desk, pulling me flush against his chest and grinned wickedly. "I am not half as pleased with myself as I am with you." He chuckled as I glared at him then lifted my knuckles to his lips. "Give me one moment, _mi diletta,_ to restore my office to a proper state and I will drive you home."

From the moment we left his office until he pulled his sleek Mercedes out of the parking lot, we kept an acceptable distance. As soon as we were speeding away, he reached for my hand and I felt a tingle go through me.

Carlisle was mine as I was his. My mate.

.

He insisted on coming in with me and helping me prepare dinner. After my accident this afternoon and with the fact that all of the nerves in my body were currently so sensitive, I figured that he was worried that I would slice off a finger or worse. In record time, the salad was done and after sliding the chicken into the oven, I decided to approach him with my question.

He seemed to sense my hesitation though, because he pulled me into his arms, resting his cheek on the top of my head and purred softly to me. "Whatever is the matter, _cara mia?_ You seem troubled."

I plunged in head first, believing it best to just get it out of the way. "I just... About what happened at the hospital."

He went silent and rigid in my embrace. "You regret it?" It sounded more like a statement than a question.

I tilted my head back to gaze into his still black eyes. "No, Carlisle. I would never regret what happened. I…I was just worried that…" I glanced down momentarily before my gaze found his again and I sucked on my bottom lip "…you would."

He understood immediately and smiled at me reassuringly, drawing me back into his grasp and caressing my hair. He tenderly nuzzled my temple with his nose and when the low rumble started again in his chest I melted into him, sighing in contented bliss. _"M'amore,_ I made a vow to you that I would attempt to be more accepting of, and responsive to, my instincts. While I made this promise only to please you, I must confess that I am quite pleased that I made such a vow. Even with the uncertainty of the instincts I am feeling, and will feel in the future, I am happier than I have ever been in all of my centuries upon this Earth."

"I'm glad," I whispered, basking in the emotions flowing between us and allowing my hands to travel over his shoulders and down his back. We stayed that way for a few moments, when a twinge of curiosity hit me. "May I ask you something?"

He chortled. "Will it cause me to flip the dining room table over?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled at the memory of him finally losing control for, what was probably the first time in his life. "No. It isn't that bad. However, I will warn you that it is emotional."

"Isabella," he sighed quietly, "no matter what inquiries you may have throughout our lives together, if there is something that you do not understand or that you wish to know, whatever it may be, then you are well within your right to ask me. You are my mate and deserve to know everything you wish. I will always tell you the truth."

I swallowed. "I don't want to offend you, but if you hated yourself so much, why did you change the others?"

He took a deep breath and held it momentarily before releasing it. He pulled back, taking my hand and led me to the couch. Since Charlie wouldn't be home for another half-hour, Carlisle obviously saw no problem in making me comfortable for whatever he had to say. "As Rosalie informed you, while I have loathed my whole being for my entire existence up until now, I have never felt as such toward them. You see, when I sired the four vampires that I did, they were all drawing near to their deaths. They were all young and innocent and good, and I felt it entirely unfair for their lives to be cut so short. I felt as though I were giving them a second chance at life."

"But you didn't feel the same about your own creation."

"No, _bella mia, _I did not." He drew me into his lap and cuddled me against his chest. "I had spent the entirety of my human life striving to do well, to be worthy of God's eternal grace, to be worthy of my father's love. That was always one of the primary things taught to children of those times; to honor one's father and mother. I was at all times determined to observe that rule, to the point where I stood quietly by and watch dozens of innocence die by my father's own hand.

I knew that if creatures such as I existed, they could not be so easily caught, so effortlessly subdued. I listened to so very many men and women scream and beg for mercy that would never be shown to them upon this Earth. And I stood in silence, silence that aided in the loss of their lives. I may have not laid down the torches or axes of their deaths, but with my knowledge, I allowed them to die and I believed that was far worse in God's eyes." He buried his face in my hair, but I did not speak, feeling that he was not done and wanting to give him time to gather his thoughts. He sighed before he spoke. "When I was attacked, I felt that this was my punishment…that I was so unworthy in God's eyes that I would not even receive my judgment before his throne. The time that I spent with the Volturi opened my eyes to many things, one of which was that my species was not damned; yet I still felt that I as an individual was."

I gently began stroking his back, a small smile curling my lips when he instinctively began purring.

"The first day Alice saw you and she let it be known that my mate was here, that you would be coming into my life, I felt hope for the first time in almost four hundred years. Then…then Edward made it clear to the family that you had feelings for him and to my horror, Jasper confirmed his words. It was then that I understood that there were far worse punishments than the eternal fires of hell, and on more than one occasion, I seriously contemplated having Emmett and Jasper end my miserable existence. Alice kept assuring me that our bond would be revealed one day, but I doubted her. The only things that kept me alive were the friendship and love from Rosalie and Esme, and those tiny waves of lust that I felt from you. In my undead heart, I was quite convinced that it was only youthful fancy, but still I hoped. I felt foolish at the time for doing so, but I could not stop myself from hoping."

He pushed my hair from my face and gazed lovingly at me. "What I said to you last night, _mi diletta_, I believe. Were my soul damned to hell, then certainly I would not have you in my life." He suddenly grinned mischievously. "Quid pro quo, Isabella. There has been a question that has plagued my mind for a year."

I suddenly felt nervous. "What?"

He chuckled. "How is it that you were able to uncover the truth of what we are?"

"Seriously? That has plagued you for a year?" I shook my head. "Well, I noticed the small things, of course — the cold and pale skin, the not appearing in sunlight. What really tied it all together for me though was Jacob Black telling me some story his tribe apparently passes down from generation to generation." I laughed for a moment, but blinked in confusion when I found him staring at me, his eyes wide with utter shock.

"Jacob Black told you about us?"

"Well, he thought it was some silly story, but yes, he did. Why?"

"He broke the treaty," Carlisle whispered more to himself. When he looked up back up at me, there was hope and joy shining there. _"Bella mia. M'amore, t'amo tanto. _Bella, I have to leave." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, grinning wildly when he pulled away. _"Cara,_ I swear to you that I will come back once Charlie is asleep. I must go hunt and take care of some very urgent business." He blurred away, and I called out jumping to my feet and rushing to the door, where he returned.

I reached out, running my fingers through his gorgeous hair and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. I smiled against his lips as he growled, pushing me against the doorframe in a show of dominance and moaned as he ground his growing erection into my abdomen.

He jerked away, panting even though I was certain he did not need breath. "Your father is going to be home soon. I doubt that he will be impressed to see the man he believes to be one of the town's _married_ doctors in such a scandalous position with his daughter." He reclaimed my lips hungrily anyway, before easing the kiss to a soft loving caress. "Isabella, _m'adorata,_ I must go. I swear, _cara mia...Mi diletta,_ I will explain more when I return." He kissed my forehead. "This business will make it much easier to be together." Again he kissed me, obviously excited. "I will explain it all tonight, _Bella mia!"_

Then he disappeared, leaving me lightheaded and more than amused at his behavior. Well, at least he was happy. That was all that mattered to me.

.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**WARNING: Adult Content Ahead.**

**.**

**FIVE**

It took me a bit longer than normal to do my homework, because I was so distracted by the uncomfortable feeling of being separated from Carlisle, but I had been able to push through the thoughts of my mate and ignore the slight pang and finish what I needed to do. I had showered quickly, sorely missing Carlisle's lovely Jacuzzi the entire time, as I wanted a nice, long relaxing soak, dressed in matching sleep set that consisted of a tiny black tank top with a rhinestone heart in the middle and black hipsters, before settling under the covers. I had only been in bed for about twenty minutes when I felt a breeze from my window and then two strong arms wrap around me. I murmured in contented relief and rolled over to snuggle against Carlisle's side, smiling happily when he began stroking my hair. I was very glad that I had left it down, because I absolutely loved the feel of his fingers sliding through the chocolate waves. With another appreciative noise, I looked up to find him watching me with an expression of utter triumph. "What? What's happened?"

"Well," he drawled slowly, "I should first inform you that everything will be quite all right. There will be no strife between the two factions." That sentence alone caused me to tense even though I was not one hundred percent sure of what he was talking about, and he bent his neck to nuzzle my ear, purring in reassurance. "Your…friend…inadvertently broke the treaty between his tribe and my family.

"You see, the legends of which he told you were obviously not so. There are members of the tribe that are shape-shifters, wolves that protect humans from our kind. However, in telling you the legends, Jacob Black broke the treaty. Those stories are not passed down to every member of their tribe; they are only passed down through certain bloodlines that have contained the gene that allows them to shift. Those stories are sacred and secret. Those children who are told the stories are forbidden to share them. Neither the wolves nor our family were supposed to alert humans to the existence of the other. In telling you what he believed to be silly folklore, he enabled you in discovering our existence."

I grimaced as I realized that my friend was probably in a lot of trouble. "What's going to happen to Jacob?" I started when a small snarl issued from Carlisle's throat and realized that he was jealous, and felt myself grow damp in response. I stroke his chest and gazed up at him. "Yours," I whispered thickly. "Only yours, Carlisle."

He sighed and closed his eyes tightly. _"Perdonami, bella mia._ Forgive me. I am letting my…" He trailed off knowing that I would be displeased at the idea of him fighting his nature. "I know that the child is rather fond of you, and I find it…disturbing. I am sorry."

"It's okay," I chortled. "I threatened to hit Jessica. And I still might do it if she pisses me off again."

"_Mi diletta," _he continued with a growl, as if he were aroused by my aggression, "while my family is within our right to declare war on the wolves, we will not. We do not want any bloodshed. However, the pack's alpha, Sam Uley, is less than pleased. Any punishment your friend receives will come at the hands of his own people, not mine. In fact, I feel that I owe the child my sincerest thanks—" he was smirking now— "because if it were not for him, then my family would not have this unique opportunity presented to us."

"Which is?"

He gazed down at me lovingly and lowered his lips to mine in a tender kiss, before pulling my head to his chest, where I could feel the vibrations of his soft purr. "When we signed the treaty with the elders, we agreed not to bite any humans within the state, or else we were subject to being hunted and killed. We could bite a human beyond those borders and be exempt from death, but if they learned of us doing so, we would not be allowed to return. If we tried to do so, though, they could hunt us and kill us." He rested his cheek on the top of my head and tightened his grip on me slightly. "When you are changed, _bella mia,_ we will unfortunately have to fake your death because everyone you know would be aware that there was something astoundingly different. It would be glaringly obvious and would give us away entirely. And the wolves are intelligent. Knowing of your association with us, when news of your death got back to them they would know."

I sighed forlornly. "You know, I should have realized that my change would mean being separated from my family." I bit my lip as I pondered how much time I would have before my change. "When…when do you plan on changing me?"

The worry and sadness in his voice when he spoke next nearly broke my heart; it was rather painful to his hear him sadly whisper, "If you wished to stay human for your family, _cara mia,_ I would never beg you to change for my sake. I do not wish you to live eternity with me if you would be forever broken over their loss. It would be cruel for me to ask that of you."

"Carlisle," I said, "I won't lie and say that the idea of losing my parents doesn't hurt. It's sad knowing that I won't get to see them after I'm changed, but from what I have already experienced, there is absolutely no way that I could give you up, live a life without being yours for eternity. Just being separated from you for a few hours is horrible. I couldn't live my life with that kind of pain and I certainly could not let you live forever feeling that separation." I frowned when he whispered 'I wouldn't', understanding that he would take his life. "I couldn't let you do that, Carlisle. I cannot imagine a world without you in it, and I can't imagine my life ever feeling complete without being part of yours for eternity."

"Then if you wish to be with me for eternity—"

"I do."

I could hear the smile in his voice when he finished, "I would give you several years to enjoy your family and your life. I have never imagined changing you before you turn twenty-three or twenty-four, and if you wish to wait a few years more, I would gladly give you the time, _mia cocca_."

"Well, Esme told me once that she's physically twenty-six and she doesn't look older than you," I commented. "Would you be willing to wait until I was twenty-five?"

"Of course, Isabella," he purred, combing my hair with his fingers in the most soothing way.

"So what happened with Sam?" I questioned, trying to get our conversation back on its original track, which was difficult considering that fantasies of unbuttoning that shirt slowly and licking my way down his marble body kept whirling through my mind. I very briefly wonder if he would taste like Mayfield's Snow Cream.

"Well, when I first told him of the child's error, he was both furious and worried; despite his instinctive dislike of my species, he is well aware of just how different we are from others of our kind. I think, though he would never admit this I'm sure, Sam has a mild respect for my family and our choices," Carlisle spoke in hushed tones.

"He was worried when I mentioned the break in the treaty, knowing that we could demand Jacob's death and declare war on his tribe. He was slightly stunned when I dismissed that notion entirely and rather curious when I inquired a favor of him. I quickly enlightened him to the knowledge that you are my mate and that the mating process had already begun. I wanted to ascertain from him that I could change you when the time comes without fear of being kept from our favored home in the future." He stroked my back with one hand as his other continued to play with my hair. "Sam has his own mate and is well aware of what it means to stand to lose that mate. He seemed a bit distressed to find out that it is you, and wishes to meet with both of us this weekend to hear for himself that this is a choice you wish to pursue. Since Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie returned this afternoon, I took Jasper with me. Between his and Alice's gifts, I was assured that he had already made his decision to allow this one opportunity."

"Well, at least that leaves us with one less problem," I sighed as I thought about the dark presence of Edward's reaction looming in the background. "What did they say about when he woke? Has he contacted you at all?"

"No," he replied sadly. "Edward has not attempted to contact me. Jasper said that when Edward came to, he was rather depressed. Depression is simply anger turned inward." He stared across my room, his eyes focused on something that was not there as he thought about his first son. "I would wager that, along with his anger at me for claiming you, he is beginning to realize his mistake and is angry at himself as well. He will feel that this is entirely his fault." He pulled my blanket more tightly around my body as he shifted us so that I was laying half on top of him. "While Edward did make the mistake of pursuing you, he is forever a teenager and you are his first love. One cannot condemn the heart, for the heart, to an extent, cannot choose with whom it falls in love. For that he is blameless." He stroked my cheek and turned my face toward his. "And I do not envy him at all for having fallen for such a glorious creature." He kissed the tip of my nose, and I thought I would melt. "Had I claimed you earlier, I am certain that this situation could have been avoided all together. For that, I am to blame."

"Carlisle—"

"_Cara mia,"_ he cooed. "I assure you that I have no plans on sinking into a pit of self-pity. The way things have occurred could have been avoided. It is most unfortunate that my son is being hurt by my choices, but to allow myself to wallow in despair will change nothing and will only result in hurting the one that I love most: _M'Isabella."_

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," I murmured. "I know how much you care about Edward. I'm sorry that he's upset, and I'm sorry that you're hurting for your son."

His lips caressed mine tenderly and he whispered, "It is true that I miss him, Isabella, but the joy that you bring into my life helps ease the pain and brings me more comfort than I could ever express to you."

.

When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see a golden pair staring right back at me; I would have thought that he would have left before Charlie woke. Then it occurred to me that he probably did and returned just for me. I felt myself blushing as he studied me intently. "What are the chances that I will make it to the bathroom to brush my teeth before you stop me?"

"Entirely nonexistent."

I crossed my arms stubbornly. "You do realize that you don't play fair, right?" I gave him a glare when he taunted 'life's not fair' and growled at him, receiving a growl back that had my toes curling and my fingers gripping the bed sheets. I blushed furiously as my body responded by growing wet with desire and I knew that he could smell my scent because his eyes closed and he inhaled deeply, his growl lowering in pitch and his eyes glittering black when he opened them again.

He moved the covers and shifted us on the bed so I was lying directly beneath him and leaned down to claim my lips in a searing kiss. It was loving but possessive. The firm pressure of his mouth plundering mine was undeniable; without words he was reminding me that I was his mate, that I belonged to him and him alone. "_La mia_," he whispered in my ear as he braced himself on one hand, the other trailing over one breast, down my side and under the damp cotton covering my moist heat.

When he slid his fingers inside, I whimpered and clutched at his shoulders, my body twisting in pleasure and frustration as he began to pump in and out of me with excruciating slowness. I heard him whisper '_la mia_' and thought I would come right then and there as the lust I felt skyrocketed. "Carlisle…" I moaned his name like a prayer. "More…please, Carlisle…I need more."

He obliged, working my pussy faster and harder while his thumb drew small figure eights around my clit and lowered his face to my neck, where his mouth latched onto an extremely sensitive area of skin. He licked and sucked firmly before ever-so-lightly grazing my flesh with his teeth, never making even the slightest cut. "_La mia. Mia sangue._"

"Fuck!" I hissed, my eyes rolling back into my head as he clearly staked his claim on my blood. I thought that I would die of sheer bliss when a loud growl burst from him and his lips reclaimed my pulse as he slipped a third finger into my pussy, stroking in and out of me feverishly. "Oh fuck…Carlisle…Oh God, Carlisle…close…"

Suddenly, he was whispering in my ear, "I wish that I could sink my teeth into that beautiful throat of yours—" I clamped around his thrusting digits at his words— "I want to drink so deeply from you as you come for me." My muscles were tightening, straining painfully as my orgasm quickly approached— "Soon, _mi diletta_…Soon, I will have your blood—" I cried out as he tormented me in the most delicious way— "_Deliziarsi per me, mia cocca!_ Come for me, _cara_," he purred, his tongue lapping the flesh where my blood has risen to the surface. "Come, _bella mia_."

I shattered in pure ecstasy, my body spasming beneath him as I rode out the waves of pleasure. While my vision did not burst with stars like in stories I had read, sweet God almighty, I felt like I had died and gone to heaven and I did not want to come back!

I was not quite sure how long I had lain with my knees bent and a stupid grin on my face but when the world came back into focus, I found a pair of glittering black eyes watching me with utter triumph and a pair of lips curled into the smuggest smirk that I had ever seen in my life. A part of me wanted to say something to wipe that grin right off his face, but he looked so pleased with himself that I knew I could not deny him that—hell, he had every damn right to be smug! I stretched and smiled up at him. "Do I have to go to school today? I think I could learn a lot more here!"

"_Perdonami, bella mia_," he murmured to me, "but I am afraid you must. If it will make you feel better, Jasper and Alice have already brought me the Mercedes, so I can drive you to school. I'm not on call today, so you can text me as much as you wish." He gave me a gentle nudge toward the edge of the bed and chuckled when I scowled at him.

"You keep me from my human moments with an Earth-shattering orgasm, and now that your male pride has something to gloat about, you're trying to get rid me," I teased, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek. "You do realize that type of behavior is incredibly rude, right?" I stuck my tongue out at him before bouncing off the bed as his laughter filled the room and strutted into the bathroom to begin my morning routine. When I was finished, I quickly dressed in jeans and a black sweater, making sure to wrap a matching black scarf securely around my neck, and traipsed downstairs—miraculously, not falling—to find a plate of French toast and strawberries. Still feeling rather giddy, I all but skipped into his arms and giggled happily when he buried his face in my blow-dried hair and purred for me.

He chortled as he pulled away and directed me to the table. "You really do enjoy that sound, do you not?"

I only grinned as I ate quickly, knowing that we had spent way too much time upstairs. I let him wash the dishes as I grabbed my bag and phone and soon I was sliding into the soft leather seats. I was a bit confused when he did not immediately speed away from the house, instead reaching into the back seat, and felt a feverish blush spread across my cheeks when I saw what he had in his fingers. Before he had even raised his hand to unwind the black scarf from my neck, I knew exactly what his plans were and my lips parted with a soft sigh. It was a very significant gesture, even if Jasper, Alice and I were probably the only ones who would actually notice.

Never taking his now-topaz from mine, he dropped my scarf into the back of the Mercedes and gently wrapped one of his silver cashmere one over the bruised flesh. He gazed at me for a moment more before pulling me close and pressing a tender kiss to my lips. "_La mia_."

I nodded, unable to find my voice for a moment. When I finally regained control of my senses, I whispered softly, "Yours, Carlisle."

He took my hand in his then turned his gaze ahead of him, revving the car to life and driving away at a speed that would have terrified me before. He had me there within what seemed like minutes, sliding up the entrance smoothly and seemingly unaware of the multitude of stares we were receiving. "I will pick you up when school's out." When he caught my incredulous gaze, he smiled innocently. Too innocently. "_Che cosa c'è, bella mia? _Why whatever is the matter?"

"I do recall a certain vampire warning me about causing a scandal between the Chief's daughter and the town's married doctor."

He smirked. "Would you believe that the divorce papers were finalized yesterday?"

I rolled my eyes at his made up lie and laughed. "I will see you later. Thank you, Carlisle."

"_Di neinte, cara mia_."

I hoped out of the car and was instantly met by Angela. "My protector," I teased, only to be stopped short by her firm tone.

"Well, you're going to need it today," she whispered. "Jessica is pissed! I don't know what happened at the hospital yesterday, but she is mad as hell!"

"Good," I said blithely. "She can go there for all I care!"

Angela laughed. "Wow…she must have really pissed you off good then."

"You have no idea," I grumbled under my breath as we walked to our first class.

Despite the constant stream of texts between Carlisle and myself, including one that said he would be waiting for me in the parking lot at lunch, I was becoming more and more uncomfortable, not only with being physically separated from my mate, but from the horridly vengeful looks that Jessica kept giving me. Lauren, as usual, was glaring at me with jealousy and aversion in her eyes, but there was the barest trace of worry in them, which made me extremely apprehensive about whatever Jessica was planning.

I was surprised that I made it to lunch without being tripped, kicked or some other puerile gesture, but the moment I walked into the cafeteria, I knew something was wrong because every single head turned in my direction. I was instantly flanked by Angela and Alice who seemed to appear out of nowhere, with Jasper trailing behind sending waves of calm to me. To my surprise, Angela joined us at the Cullen's table, so I knew there really was something terrible going on and I swallowed thickly as I gazed from one face to the other before settling on Angela, knowing that she would be the most upfront with her answer. "What did she do?"

"It started in yearbook," she explained softly. "She was bitching that you told her off at the hospital yesterday over some comments that she made about Doctor Cullen—" my stomach fell into my shoes— "and…well, when she said that, Lana Marchent, the junior who lives across from you, said…" She nibbled on her lower lip, looking worried. "She said that yesterday, when Doctor Cullen left—" oh dear God, no— "that she saw you two, um…making out."

I was vaguely aware of Jasper telling Alice something about 'the woods', but it did not register. I was in shock and could not really hear what was going on or see the people around me; not that I would want to, as everyone was staring in either disgust, surprise, envy or some other emotion that made my gut twist. It took me awhile to comprehend that Alice was calling me and I blinked at her for a moment. "What?"

She leaned over and whispered in my ear slowly, making sure that I could process her words. "Carlisle was going to come see you. Remember? Jasper has gone outside with Carlisle and is trying to keep him calm, because Carlisle wants to come in here and get you. He's acting on instinct and doesn't quite understand right now that doing so would make things worse. You need to come with me, because he needs you right now. He needs to know you're okay. Bella, do you understand?"

.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING: Adult Content Ahead.**

.

**SIX**

I nodded dumbly and did exactly what she told me to do, more mechanically than with any real understanding because I was not quite sure if things were actually sticking in my brain at the present. Why was Carlisle in the woods?

"I can come," Angela supplied helpfully.

"No," Alice said quickly. "We need you here to make sure Jessica doesn't make anything worse—like that's possible! But everyone needs to know that Carlisle and Esme have been in the process of divorce for months and that the papers were finalized yesterday." She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up, wrapping one arm around my waist. "Come on Bella, it's time for a walk." As soon as we were out the door she was calling Esme, explaining the situation and asking her to meet Charlie at his house to find out if he had heard the, well, not-rumors and talk to him.

I found myself dazedly wondering how on Earth the Cullen matriarch would start that conversation and tried to imagine Charlie's eyes bugging out if he had heard the, well, not-rumors.

We had just passed into the edge of the forest when Alice scooped me up and took off at full speed. Within less than a minute, she stopped and set me down several yards away from Carlisle. I could not help but wonder why she placed me so far away when she knew my mate would never hurt me. I turned to ask her and was surprised when she was nowhere in sight.

Jasper was obviously using the full strength of his gift, because Carlisle looked almost drunk, barely able to stand and completely unable to speak. The Southern vampire started walking backward, keeping his focus on the elder vampire and called out to me. "Bella! I need you to slowly walk toward Carlisle. You need to be close to him when I leave so he will focus on guarding you and not killing me for keeping him calm."

I was thoroughly confused. "Why would he kill you?" I queried moving forward.

"Because he heard Angela explain what happened with Jessica and he's furious, and messing with his emotions only made it worse, because it pissed him off that I was doing it," he explained calmly. "His sole focus right now is on protecting you, and if anyone gets too close to you, it could result in serious injury or worse." When I was almost to Carlisle, he called out, "Bella, just so you know, Carlisle loves you with every fiber of his undead being. He won't hurt you."

I smiled as I stepped in front of my mate. "I know." And I knew when Jasper had fled, because the bleary look instantly disappeared and was replaced by a mix of fury, concern and adoration. I raised my palm to his cheek and whispered, "Yours."

The moment he scooped me into his arms and took off running, I could feel his fury rolling off of him like tidal waves crashing onto a delicate beach. The anger and desire that I had felt from him yesterday in his office could not even begin to compare to the staggering feelings he was giving off at the moment. The raging emotions within him had us at his home in a matter of minutes. We were halfway up the stairs when I heard the door slam to so hard that I was almost completely certain that it had been jarred off of its hinges, and when he dropped me unceremoniously on the bed, I suddenly became aware of just what Jasper had meant—if Carlisle tried to mate with me now in his extreme rage, despite the lack of a barrier, our first time mating would be difficult, if not painful. And of course, my mate would feel guilty and shameful afterwards, which would inevitably put us back at square one.

I swallowed thickly, closing my eyes as I waited for him to pounce on the bed but, to my confusion and surprise, I could only hear him snarling a few feet away. I opened my eyes to see him pacing back and forth like a caged lion, his eyes wild and his fingers curved into claws, venom trickling from the corners of his mouth, and I speculated that he just might be considering storming back to the school and ripping apart everyone in his path with his bare hands.

As much as I loathed all the gossip-mongers, I knew this would be the most disastrous move he could possibly make. He had just secured my change with the Quileutes and killing human beings, even if their behavior was atrocious and they deserved it, would be a break in the treaty, which could result in the entire family being hunted down and killed. I knew that I had to keep him here with me, so he did not go off and do something he would regret later on.

"Carlisle," I called out softly, sighing when it seemed that he did not hear me. I had just climbed off the bed when he whirled around and growled loudly me. I jumped back in surprise at the sound and crawled back onto the covers as he advanced on me; as soon as I was sitting back on the bed, he backed away and resumed his pacing.

I huffed mentally. There was no way in hell that I was going to stay on this bed all day and all night. Not unless he was planning on joining me, which, at the present, was obviously not going to happen. Whether he liked it or not right now, I still had my human needs; I would have to eat and go to the bathroom and I did not care how pissed off he was or how badly he wanted to keep me perfectly safe and sound from everything, including my own klutzy feet.

"Carlisle?" He did not respond. "Carlisle, can you understand me?" He gave me an angry glare and I felt myself smirking. Obviously, he could hear me and he did not like what I was insinuating. "You're the one that chose to ignore me," I said glibly, "so don't you dare get pissed with me for questioning you." When he looked chagrined for a moment and then continued his glaring and snarling over the situation, I sighed. "Carlisle, I cannot stay on this bed all night. I have to eat, take care of my human moments. Actually, I am rather hungry. I didn't get to eat at lunch." I ignored his roar of rage at reminding him of Jessica. "Carlisle, I'm going to get off the bed now—" He spun and glared at me, snarling in protest, and I rolled my eyes. "I have to pee and I sure as hell am not going to let you stop me from emptying my damn bladder!"

Despite his loud growl of displeasure, he did not make a move when I slowly slide off the bed, but he eyed me as though waiting to scoop me up and protect me—from what I was not quite sure, though.

I moved more slowly than I normally would toward the bathroom door and was surprised, and slightly horrified, when my mate attempted to follow. I turned in the doorway and placed a hand on his chest. "Carlisle," I said firmly, but gently, "I know that right now you are acting solely on your nature. You know that I've been hurt by what's happened and you're only instinct is to keep me safe from everyone and everything." I wrapped my arms around him tightly and nuzzled my head under his chin, smiling when the snarling changed to purring. "I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. I know that these feelings are confusing and upsetting to you; and knowing you the way that I do, when all of this is over, you are probably going to feel ashamed, but you shouldn't—you've done nothing wrong." I tilted my head back and kissed his cheek. "You are protecting your mate. That is what you should be doing. You are doing exactly the right thing, Carlisle." I smirked. "But you're not following me into the bathroom."

When I closed the door in his face, he growled, though it was far less intense than when I mentioned the gossip-leech. When I was finished and opened the door, he was standing right where I left him, watching me like a hawk. I offered him my hand, only to yelp in surprise when he scooped me up and blurred into the kitchen before setting me on a stool and moving through the room, never saying a word the entire time that he sped between the stove and refrigerator. And despite the seemingly domestic behavior, his eyes were still completely feral and there was a constant, low and angry rumble in his throat. Watching him, I realized that it was only because of his deep love for me that I was allowed off the bed. He was still absolutely raging with fury, but because I was near him, he was wholly incapable of acting on his anger. I also realized Jessica Stanley owed me her life. And I owed her a broken jaw.

Suddenly, the rumble from Carlisle grew louder and louder, and I heard the front door slam open and Emmett's loud voice calling for me. I blinked when my mate practically vanished from my vision, and when I heard a scream from Rosalie, I realized what happened and rushed into the living room in time to see my mate advancing on Emmett again.

My brother's massive form lay in the remains of what was once the large, black leather sofa. To my surprise, his eyes were not black with rage, but still topaz and filled with embarrassment and fear. "Shit," he mumbled under his breath as he attempted to crawl from the debris toward Rosalie, who was now kneeling by the door, her head bowed to her chest.

"Rose!" I hissed, causing Carlisle to blur toward me and stand protectively in front of me, snarling at the two younger immortals. I watched at Emmett moved to Rose's side, bowing in the same position, and I realized that it was a submissive gesture; they were trying to show Carlisle that they were not a threat, but now that they were so defenseless, he saw this as the perfect opportunity to move.

He was going to kill them.

He stalked slowly toward them and I attempted to stop his moves, calling his name and moving before him, pressing my hands against his shoulders in the feeble attempt to recapture his attention, only to feel myself being spun behind him far too quickly. The sudden displacement left me dizzy and, for the first time in my life, I was beyond thankful that I staggered. His attention was immediately diverted back to me and just as he scooped me into his arms, he stumbled, his eyes glazing over for a moment before going wide with mild recognition as the door opened ever-so-slowly to reveal Alice and Jasper, who was obviously holding Carlisle at bay with his power. The pain in Carlisle's voice as he whispered "What have I done?" was heart-wrenching.

Once again, I was upstairs; but this time, he cradled me in his arms and buried his face in my hair. "I attacked Emmett," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. He was obviously crying, even if he could not spill tears. "All he did was enter the house and I attacked him."

I stroked his back and cooed, "You didn't hurt him, Carlisle. He's indestructible, remember?"

"It does not matter!" he growled. "I attacked him."

"You were protecting your mate, just as you needed to," I explained quietly. "It doesn't matter that Emmett was not the one to hurt me. I was humiliated, in pain, and you acted on instincts. Right now, your instincts are telling you that everyone is a threat to me. He knows that. Your instincts are in full-force and, being a vampire, Emmett should have realized that barging in on mates entering their mating season was a potentially fatal thing to do."

"I need you, _cara mia,_" he whispered harshly.

I smiled. "I'm here, Carlisle. I'm not going anywhere."

"No," he heaved a pain-filled sigh. "I need you." His hands began to wander slowly over my body, which responded immediately. "I need to touch you—" he pulled off my sweater— "I need to kiss you—" he unwrapped his scarf and his lips found my pulse— "I need to be inside you—" he swiftly lifted me and removed my jeans and a hand slipped beneath my moist underwear— "I need to taste your blood." Suddenly, I was on my back and he was braced above me, gazing down at me with ebony eyes. "I wanted this to be different," he sighed as he traced every line of my face with his fingers. "I wanted it to be perfect, _m'amore_."

"Maybe I don't want things to be perfect, Carlisle," I said softly, reaching up to run my fingers through his silky blond locks. "Maybe I just want them to be right."

That seemed to break his restraint and all of the intense emotions that had been driving his instincts poured out of him as he stretched himself over me, claiming my lips firmly with his own and grinding his erection between my damp thighs. "Tell me to stop, _bella mia_. Make me to stop, because this is the only time that I will be able to."

"I can't do that," I said gently as I began to undo the buttons of his shirt. "I can't tell you to stop when I don't want you to." I shoved the shirt down his arms, smiling when he shook the material away from his body. "You are my mate, Carlisle, and I want you to claim me."

He closed his eyes and his marble body trembled with desire. "_M'Isabella_," he purred, "If I claim your body, I will claim your blood." His onyx gaze was hungry and adoring at the same time. "I can assure you, _la mia_, that once I have tasted your blood, I will crave it more strongly and need it desperately for years to come."

I rocked my hips against him encouragingly and reached up to pull his mouth back to mine, barely brushing my lips against his as I held him tightly to my warm body. "Then taste your mate."

The same hands that skillfully stitched patients back together and handled delicate surgeries were the same hands that had aggressively thrown the largest and strongest Cullen straight through a sturdy piece of furniture and into the wall behind it. Now those same hands were moving over my body with reverence, the cool pads of his fingertips barely ghosting over the delicate skin of my throat, down the heaving valley of my breasts to the clasp of my bra, flicking it open and purring as my breasts spilled out beneath his heated gaze.

Had someone told me two years ago of the events and emotions that I would experience this past year, I would have laughed. The idea of meeting vampires seemed ludicrous, and even more so was the idea that I would be the mate of one, that I would allow one them to claim me after only a couple of days. I would have scoffed that such a connection could possibly exist, that there was no way that a love could exist that was so strong that it would have affected me to my core in such a way.

But it had. I belonged to this exquisite creature and never had I experienced something so deeply that I felt it in my soul. Yes, with Carlisle, I felt him in every fiber of my being; when he was near me, I felt cherished, loved, safe… when he was apart from me, I felt like my spirit was incomplete and sick.

I sighed as he tenderly took the weight of my breasts in his hands, panting shallowly when he leaned down and latched onto one nipple, the cold venom on his lips pebbling the sensitive flesh. "Carlisle…"

His free hand slipped over my hip, grasping the lacy fabric in his marble fingers before ripping it away from my flesh easily. He did not, as I expected, let his fingers delve inside my aching heat, but simply cupped my swollen flesh then teased me mercilessly by letting one fingertip trace my slit so lightly that it was as if air were caressing my skin.

I shivered and tried to rub my hips against his hand, moaning in frustration when it glided away to stroke up my side. "Please… Please, Carlisle," I begged, squirming beneath him, trying to get closer to him.

He denied me, moving off the bed, and smiled when I attempted to growl in annoyance. "_Pazienza, mia cocca_," he purred reassuringly.

When he grasped his belt, slowly removing it, I felt my face flush with heat, my lips parting as I realized through my desire that I was about to see my mate completely nude for the first time. A part of my mind briefly wondered if I was ready for this or not, but as his fingers undid the button of his jeans, I knew that I was most definitely ready. He was my mate, completely incapable of causing me harm and only able to bring me happiness and pleasure.

While we had indeed bonded more quickly than most humans would find acceptable, the connection was undeniable. It was impossible for my mate claiming my body to ever be anything than more than right.

I could almost feel my pupils dilate at the staggering sight of him. Beautiful could not even begin describe the sheer magnificence of him and, before I could stop myself, I had moved off of the bed to stand directly in front of him. I whispered his name in awe, timidly raising my hand to touch his face, slowly caressing from his cheek to his jaw, before standing on tip-toe to press a chaste and adoring kiss to his marble lips.

He patiently allowed me to explore his body, only shifting his head so he could follow my movements and watch me, as I moved both hands down the planes of his neck and over those broad shoulders that I loved so much. The stone muscles of his arms tensed and flexed involuntarily as I smoothed my palms over them, before raising my hands to his chest. I stepped forward and pressed a tiny kiss over the place where his frozen heart rested in silence inside his chest. "It doesn't have to beat," I whispered, turning my brown eyes up to meet his black ones, "because you have mine, and it beats only for you."

He pushed my hair back from my face. "And when yours ceases to beat?"

I smiled tenderly. "Then you will know that the last beat was yours, so you'll forever be frozen there. My love for you locked inside me, eternal and unbreakable."

He ran a slowly thumb over my cheek. "I love you, Isabella Swan."

"As I love you, Carlisle Cullen," I murmured. I stared at him for a few moments more, letting him absorb the words and emotions of what I had finally said before I let my hands continue their eager journey, my fingers fanning out and tracing the hard muscles of his abs. I smiled internally when the stone contracted and relaxed beneath my touch. He drew in a sharp hiss of breath when my warm fingers wrapped around the length of him, and just as I was starting to worry about his impressive length, my mind immediately recognizing that my fingertips were not touching due to his thick girth. His size was definitely going to make for intense first time, even with my barrier gone.

He sensed my concern and pressed a kiss to my temple. "I will never rush you, _Bella mia_. I could never hurt you."

I gazed up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. "Do you have any idea just how beautiful you are, Carlisle Cullen?"

He swept me up into his arms and laid me down in the center of the bed, stretching himself over me. "A gorgeous goddess that I am well acquainted with keeps informing me of this, but I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the claimed beauty of my body and soul pales significantly in contrast to hers." He pressed a kiss to my forehead then kissed beneath each of my lower lids, licking away the tears; he kissed my lips with such tenderness that I lost my breath for a moment, before he trailed his lips to my throat, licking the vein on each side. He worked slowly down my body, suckling one nipple first and flicking his tongue over the tip, before giving the other nipple the same delicious attention.

He stopped in his journey to dip his tongue into my navel and I squirmed feverishly under his administrations. He tormented me until I thought that I would scream in frustration, and then his mouth moved lower and I knew that I could not possibly survive the near-excruciating pleasure that shot through my core. His fingers parted my moist lips as he blew a strong, cool breath on my sensitive clit, grasping my hips and pinning them to the bed as my body instinctively thrashed. "Easy, _mi diletta_," he purred calmly, before dragging his tongue over my soaked slit, lapping up my juices greedily.

"Carlisle… Oh God…" I whimpered helplessly, not knowing how much more I could stand, when his cold tongue pushed deep inside my wet heat. "Carlisle!"

When he stopped, I thought that he was showing mercy, but realized my mistake when he pulled the swollen bundle of nerves between his teeth carefully, while slowly sliding three fingers into my dripping pussy. He thrust his cool digits in and out of me, slowly at first, then he sped up his pace as my passage fluttered around his hand, suckling the bead of flesh hard, his tongue flicking back and forth with inhuman speed. He pumped me hard and fast, and within moments, I was clenching around him and screaming out in rapture.

I was still floating on a cloud of intense pleasure, when he suddenly appeared over me, his lips, coated in my juices, claimed mine. He used the combination of my afterglow and the distraction of the kiss to slide the head of his cock inside, my stretching passage clamping around the cool thickness like a vice, and I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment when I felt a pressure deep inside.

He hadn't broken my barrier like I had thought.

My eyes must have showed my panic, because he lowered his face to my ear, nuzzling and purring. "_La mia_," he cooed, "you need not worry. That is not your hymen. That is your cervix. I am too large for you, _bella mia_, and it will take a few minutes for your body to stretch to accommodate me." He licked the shell of my ear, still purring softly as he slipped a hand between us, using his speed to rub my clit.

After several minutes of being teased, my body relaxed and accepted him more quickly, and I was alight with exquisite pleasure from him pumping steadily inside of me. I writhed under him, my fingers fisting in his silky hair as I met him thrust for thrust. "Carlisle! Oh sweet fucking God… Carlisle…" My breath came out in uneven pants as he pounded in and out of me, over and over, faster and harder. "Carlisle… Now…" I hissed. "Drink... Carlisle…"

It was all the invitation he needed, and I felt his sharp teeth bite low on my neck, sinking deeply to the vein beneath. The sting from his venom made me gasp in pain, but it was gone almost instantly as he took a long pull of my blood, effectively removing the venom as he drank. My body responded immediately to the intimate act, shuddering almost violently as I approached my peak, and when he took a second strong draw of blood, I squeezed my eyes shut and came hard, screaming and thrashing in the throes of divine ecstasy, as my pussy clamped around his cock. Even through the heavy blanket of pleasure, I could feel him explode deep inside me, my clenching passage milking him of every drop of his cool cum.

I laid there panting and sighed contentedly as one cool hand cupped my cheek. When I felt his lips brush over mine lovingly, I opened my eyes and immediately raised my hands to his face, my thumbs caressing the marble skin below his eyes, and I frowned when he bowed his head. I slid a hand over his jaw and lifted his face, whispering his name so he would open his eyes and look at me. When he finally did, I gazed adoringly at him. "Carlisle Cullen, you… are… absolutely… beautiful."

At my words, a small smile curled the corner of his lips. "_M'amore… T'amo tanto…_"

For the first since meeting the stunning vampire, I saw something that I had never seen in his eyes before: pride. Pride in himself, pride for what he truly was. It was mixed so clearly in the adoration and love that glowed in his bright red eyes.

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	7. Chapter 7

**WARNING: Adult Content Ahead.**

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**SEVEN**

I was unsure of how long we had laid there, tangled together on the covers, but after what seemed like an eternity, I moved so I could gaze up at his face and gasped in astonishment when I saw his eyes.

"What is the matter, _cara mia_?" he asked, concern evident on his face and in his voice.

"Your… your eyes aren't red anymore," I said as I leaned in closer to look. "Well, not bright red like before. They're more of a rusty color."

He looked supremely unsurprised, which in turn surprised me more. "I was quite certain the effects would not last long—not initially, anyway—given that I did not take that much of your blood. Plus my body was able to quickly metabolize your blood due to your emotions and, to an extent, our connection."

I was not quite sure what he meant and it apparently showed because he blurred away, grabbing a blanket and wrapping me up in it when he flashed back before he explained. "Fear and love are two of the strongest emotions known to almost all creatures, but they act in completely different ways. Fear is an emotion that bears resistance, the urge to fight, to defend… whereas love, true love, is an emotion that bears only compassion and acceptance. Our bodies metabolize blood by both the physical components of it as well as the emotions. The blood we drink results in the color of our eyes. As a human you would not be able to tell, but there are slight variations in the color of even our family's eyes. Emmett's eyes have deep flecks of amber since he tends to find bears. Alice, Rose and Esme have threads of a champagne color in their eyes because they drink mostly deer. Since Jasper and I tend to drink from mountain lions we tend to have darker honey tones."

He stroked his hands down my arms before rolling me over onto my back, gazing down at me with a look of adoration that practically stole my breath. "Emotions," he whispered as he licked the shell of my ear, "are what help, or in most cases hinder, the rate at which the blood is metabolized. Most creatures, _m'amore_, are not like you and are not too keen on us draining their life force from them."

"So fear makes it harder for your body to absorb the blood," I repeated. I was intrigued and wanted to learn as much about my mate as possible and considering I would be becoming a vampire in a few years, it did not hurt to have a heads up. "So I'm guessing it has to do with the exact hormones in the bloodstream?"

"Yes," he said with a smile. "It's a very long and complicated explanation, but—"

I smirked as something suddenly occurred to me. "The Great Carlisle Cullen doesn't know!"

He nuzzled his nose against my ear. "I just do not see any relevance with boring you with the tedious and wholly unexciting details."

He started purring happily. Or perhaps to distract me. Either way, I burst out into giggles. "You don't know!" He growled playfully and began sucking on my earlobe before kissing his way down my neck to latch onto a familiar patch of skin and I gasped. "If you keep doing that, it's never going to go away." When he chuckled "I know", I huffed. "Everyone is going to start noticing if I were your scarf every day of the year."

Suddenly our positions changed and he was leaning against the headboard with me sitting between his strong thighs, his arms wrapped tightly around my mine, with my back against his chest. He rested his chin on my head and sighed. "I fear that by now, the whole town will know of the change in our relationship."

"Oh God!" I moaned. "What is Charlie going to say?"

"I doubt that he knows at this point," Carlisle reassured me. "I vaguely recall Alice saying that she sent Esme to talk to him. If something were wrong Esme would have notified us immediately, or rather she would have spoken to Alice immediately and Alice would have informed us when we were not so… engaged."

I blushed deeply. "We're… we're going to have to tell him, aren't we?"

"Would you prefer him to hear about it through your neighbors?"

I shook my head. "No, I suppose not." I nibbled on my lower lip as the glaringly obvious question bounced around my brain. "Carlisle, I… I don't want to offend you, but how—"

He growled softly and his grip tightened. "Alice and the rest are only a few miles away. She said that they would remain on the porch until I was reacquainted with their presence. Once I am comfortable with them being that close, they will open the front door to allow more of their scent into the house. From there, they will move into the kitchen and wait for us to come downstairs to them." He slowly climbed from the bed pulling me with him and urging me to get dressed, and when we were both clothed, he pulled me back on the bed to sit with him. "Alice wants Jasper to use his gift, but I do not believe that would be a wise idea. As disturbing as these urges are at the present time I must become accustomed to them if I am going to continue to function in society over the next few years."

I blinked in confusion as I scooted closer to him. "Next few years? I would have thought that—"

He sighed and bowed his head and I could tell that he was embarrassed at the moment as he hid his face in his pale hands. When he looked up, I noticed that his eyes seemed to be an even light shade of orange. _"Mi diletta,_ unfortunately the entire mating process does not end with the physical act of mating, nor does it end when a human mate is changed. Due to the nature of vampires, most have exceptionally dominant personalities—not violent or cruel, just very assertive and dependent. The males, obviously, are far more dominant; however, unmated and recently turned females are a rather aggressive force, so when an unmated female finds her mate, it generally takes about a year or two for her to completely submit to the male's dominance. The same amount of time applies to a recently turned female."

He lifted me into his lap and tucked me closely against his chest. "It is within the male's nature to want to protect his mate, and a newly mated female still has her instincts to fight for herself in situations where she does not need to. As dated as it sounds to a human, a female should not be fighting for or protecting the male unless they are overwhelmed by others or the male is severely injured and unable to protect his mate any longer. It is the male's responsibility to protect both himself and his mate against danger and it takes a year for a female to fully submit to her male."

I was shocked by this information and was not completely sure of what to make of it. "So… for the next few years, we're going to be… um… I mean, we're…"

"I am sorry, _mia cocca,"_ he cooed, his carnelian eyes full of emotion. "I am not completely certain of the intensity we will feel during our mating. You must remember that I have nearly completely suppressed all of my instincts until I admitted our bond to you. Any emotions that I have felt until now, I have felt at a human level. After nearly a hundred years, I really did not even have to try to suppress them; experiencing life as a human came naturally. So I unfortunately have nearly four hundred years of—" he licked the side of my neck, whispering— "tension built up."

I shuddered at the innuendo and had just pressed my lips to his when he jumped back against the headboard, still cradling me in his arms.

He snarled viciously then spasmed slightly, bowing his head as shame etched the lines of his face. "They're here. On the porch." He shook his head. "I hate this, _la mia_. I hate that I am feeling this way toward those that I consider to be my family."

"Carlisle," I said patiently, "I know them well enough to know that they do not blame you for anything. They will not be upset with you in the slightest. My guess is that all four of them have experienced the same thing."

My mate nodded slowly, as if not wanting to admit that it was okay for his family but not for himself. "Alice and Jasper were already mated when they joined us, but almost immediately after Emmett was turned he had to leave with Rosalie. He was afraid of hurting his family because he was so aggressive with his mating."

I smirked. "So it's okay for them to act like this, but not you?"

He sighed and turned his eyes to me. "That is not what I meant. I am just a bit overwhelmed." He tilted his head, apparently thinking. "I can tell you exactly what will happen between us, what will happen to me, about my instincts and reactions, but I have never experience anything of this magnitude and it is quite disconcerting to me. Logically, I know that you have been threatened and I am just protecting you, but emotionally I cannot comprehend why I would feel that my family is too, a threat."

I hugged him as tightly as I could without hurting myself. "I am sorry Carlisle. I wish there was something that I could say or do to make this easier on you."

The smile in his voice was obvious. _"Cara mia_, your love and your support alone make a world of difference." He instantly stiffened and hissed, his eyes going from orange to black in an instant. "They're opening the door."

Not sure of what to do or say, I did the first thing that popped into my head and let my tongue dart out to lap behind his earlobe, the hiss immediately turning into a purr. I just held him and nuzzled the side of his face with my mine, reassuring him with soft murmurs that I was safe and that I was his; and it apparently worked because when he pulled back his eyes were again orange and he was smiling softly at me.

"You, _la mia,_ are truly the delight of my life," he said kissing the tip of my nose, chuckling when I blushed. "I would be entirely unable to survive this change if it were not for you wisdom, grace and love, _bella mia_." He placed a tender kiss and my lips and rose slowly, as if unsure if he wanted to move or not. "Come, _m'amore…_ I do believe Esme has news about the situation with your father."

We walked slowly down the stairs even for human speed, and I was sure that it was due to him adjusting to allowing me near his family, but I did not mind. I would give him all the time he needed if it meant he was comfortable, or as comfortable as he could be giving the circumstances. The moment we walked into the kitchen, I could sense the tension, so I was not surprised when my mate grabbed me and moved us back into the far corner of the room. The look on Esme's face was heartbreaking and I felt my stomach plummet into my feet as I whispered, "He knows, doesn't he?"

She shook her head, gazing at me sadly. "No, Bella, he doesn't. But… we have a bigger problem."

"What? What's wrong?" Panic was rising inside me and it was affecting Carlisle, who had begun growling deeply behind me. I pushed down the emotions a bit and stroked the cool arms that were wrapped securely around my shoulders. "Esme, what's happened?"

When she bowed her head, a shudder ripping through her willowy frame, I felt my mate's grasp loosen a tad and a heavy breath rush out of him. "She has found her mate."

I blinked in confusion for a few moments before the full brunt of what he said hit me like a truck. "Her mate is Charlie?"

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We all stood there staring at each other in complete silence. It seemed like everyone was looking at me, and it took me a moment to comprehend that they really were looking at me, waiting to see how I would react to this bit of news. "Um… Well," I stammered as I tried to put my thoughts together. I felt like the worst person in the world when Esme looked down at the countertop, and it dawned on me that she thought that I was angry. "Esme?"

When she looked at me with bleary eyes, I smiled. "I'm not upset. I'm just shocked. It's… It's a bit odd hearing that your father's mate is the woman you consider a mother and that she has pretend for decades to be married to my mate. It's… unusual." I shook my head as her lips curled into a small apologetic smile and she whispered 'I'm sorry'. "Don't be. Someone wise told me that you can't condemn the heart, for the heart cannot choose with whom it falls in love."

I thought my words would have made her happy, but she still looked so unhappy. "What's wrong? Did you tell him yet? He overreacted, didn't he?"

She shook her head morosely, caramel locks falling around her face. "No," she murmured quietly. "It's the treaty. Sam only knows that your Carlisle's mate; and while he may be willing to allow your change, I doubt he will allow a second. Your father is very close with Billy Black. The chances of Sam allowing Charlie to be changed in Washington are slim-to-none. And if we change Charlie, we can never come back."

To my surprise, when I stepped forward, Carlisle released his grip on me. He did, however, stay right behind me, body tensed as if waiting to attack anyone in the room who might try to touch me. I leaned on the end of the counter, while the family congregated at the other end, and glanced back to my mate to motion for him to stand beside me, which he complied to immediately. I stared at my family for a moment then let my chocolate eyes dart past them to the forest outside.

The past few days had been a whirlwind of activity and emotions.

My birthday party had been Tuesday night, the night my mate had told me about my bond; that night alone had been filled with more information about vampires than I could have ever imagined. Wednesday had been rough, as Jessica had spent half of the day trying to figure out what was happening, or not happening, between Edward and I; and due to a combination of my anger and haste, I had ended up in the emergency room, where I had lost my shit on her entirely, resulting in a rather fun romp in Carlisle's office… and giving Jessica ammunition to hate me. Wednesday night had not been bad, as my mate had found a possible loophole to the treaty; however, in our enthusiasm our relationship had been witnessed by at least one of my neighbors, which in turn had resulted in the truth being spread like wildfire through the school by one Jessica Stanley, whom I desperately wanted to punch.

All of this had led to the two current issues: Carlisle's volatile instincts and Esme possibly having to choose between her mate and losing her beloved home.

I was surprised that my poor family had any sanity left.

"Well…" I drawled as I came to only one conclusion. "We can only take things one day at a time. These are very difficult circumstances that I don't think anyone could have possibly seen." I smiled reassuringly at Alice. "Not even you, Pixie."

I turned to Carlisle and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Will you get me something to eat?" I figured that if I could keep his instincts to take care of me distracted, being in the kitchen with the others might make things a bit easier on all of us, but mostly him. When he nodded and blurred around the room, I smile for a moment before turning back to the rest of my family.

It seemed that being the mate of the leader of this clan meant that in his unstable moments, I was the one that would be relied upon to handle things, and that did not bother me too much. I had always taken care of Renee and Charlie, and even though I was not a vampire and not completely aware of how the whole mating process worked, I was able to step back and look at things from a different perspective. While it was within my nature now to defend Carlisle, my drives and emotions were nowhere near as intense, so I was able to think with a much clearer head.

"Okay, let's take care of things in the order that they need to be taken care of." I looked at all of them questioningly, making sure that they were all right with me taking charge of things at the present. Four of the five looked at me expectantly, while Jasper just grinned with a mixture of amusement and pride. When I looked at him expectantly, he mouthed 'later'. I shrugged and took a deep breath, launching into my thoughts about what we should do. "You said Charlie doesn't know about me and Carlisle and he doesn't know that you're his mate… Does he know that you are not married?"

She nodded and braced her elbows on the counter. "Yes. When I first entered, after getting over my shock, I told him that you had another small accident at school and that Carlisle was taking care of you." She smiled and blushed deeply. "He was not at all pleased with the mention of Carlisle, but that was more to do with the fact that he felt the pull, even if he does not realize what it is."

"Wonderful," my mate drawled sarcastically, as he slid a plate with a gorgeous-looking, deli-style chicken sandwich on it. He continued to talk as I munched happily on my food, as this was the first thing I had since breakfast. "Now Charlie has two reasons to shoot me: his jealousy over his mate and I'm mating with his daughter."

I snorted with laughter along with the rest of the family and when I swallowed, I smirked. "I don't know who I feel sorrier for: you or him?"

He grinned playfully at me, his once-again topaz eyes glittering in amusement. "Bullets may not kill us, but that does not mean that they will not leave a nasty crack behind."

I winced. "Sorry," I mumbled before taking another bite of sandwich and waving at him to continue my thoughts, as it seemed he was back under control. "Hungry." I took another big bite as if to reiterate that I was through speaking and he chuckled, wrapping his arms around me and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

"Under normal circumstances, I would say that just Esme and I should go speak with Charlie," Carlisle said calmly. "But taking into account that I am not yet in complete control of harmonizing my emotions and instincts, I think we should bring the entire family. Jasper can come inside with us to help keep everyone's emotions under control, and Alice, Emmett and Rosalie can wait outside in case anything goes… wrong."

He took a moment, contemplating what it was that he thought we should and should not do while talking to Charlie, and after a few moments, he looked at Esme sadly. "I do not think we should tell Charlie that you are mates just yet. Even telling him of what we are is a break in the treaty, and while Sam is a very fair leader, I doubt the rest of the pack will stand behind him if the breach is on our part. We are due to meet Sam tomorrow evening, so we can take the whole family and explain the situation then. Once Sam knows that you are mates, while he may deny us being allowed to change Charlie in Washington, he is not cruel enough to actually deny your mate knowledge of us and your bond. And I know this is our favored home, but I also know there is not a member of this family that would see you suffer the denial of your mate over something as trivial as a residence."

"Thank you, Carlisle," Esme whispered, golden eyes glittering with unshed venomous tears. She turned her tender gaze to me. "Are you all right with this, Bella?"

I laughed lightly and nodded. "Yes, Esme. I'm sure it will be a bit… awkward at first. But I and Charlie will get over it. You deserve to be happy."

When she blurred toward me and hugged me tightly, I could feel Carlisle tense, but to his credit he suppressed all sounds. After a moment, she released me, still smiling, and bowed her head to Carlisle and flashed back to the other end of the room.

I turned to see Carlisle taking deep breaths, but his eyes were still a golden color—a bit darker than the usual bright citrine, but still obviously yellow and nowhere near black. I smiled up at him and pulled him close to me. "I am so very proud of you, Carlisle Cullen." I pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, gasping against his mouth, when he deepened it, stealing my breath away with his passion.

He pulled away only to nuzzle my ear with his nose, purring contentedly. "_Grazie, la mia_… I truly could not survive this without you, _m'amore_."

"You do know that I love you right?" I questioned suddenly.

He took a small step backwards and gazed into my eyes, raising his hands to brush back my chocolate hair. "_Sì, mi diletta_… I know that it is difficult for you to say so, as thing have happened so quickly, but I feel it. Every time you look at me, touch me, speak my name, I feel it pouring from every fiber of your being, Isabella. I could taste it in your blood, _cara mia_. I do not doubt, not for a single moment, that you love me." He bowed his head, pressing his forehead to mine. "My only hope is that you are aware of how deeply my love for you runs, _Bella mia_; for I love you more than my own existence."

"I know, Carlisle," I whispered softly to him. "I can feel it in my heart and in my soul. I can feel it, because you are my heart and soul. I have never felt anything as strong and pure as the love you have for me."

He pulled me tightly back into his embrace, purring his adoration, and I realized the family was still watching. I almost felt badly for them, knowing how our display of emotions must be affecting them, or at least Jasper, who had the dorkiest looking grin on his face that I had ever seen. "I do love you, Carlisle Cullen." I stepped back so he could see my eyes, and smiled tenderly at him. "I just have one question."

He titled his head, curiosity flickering in his eyes. "What is that, _cara_?"

I grinned mischievously. "Can I finish my sandwich, before we go see Charlie? I don't want to die with an empty stomach."

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**A/N: Please see my profile for information on updates, both personal and story-wise. Thank you.**


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